Thought Sausage

Aight, so even though I know I have some Dream Theater fans who read this thing, I gotta make a point here. Witness this 'paid by the note' band whip out Master of Puppets. If John Petrucci playing his guitar up over his nipples isn't enough to take all the testoserone of this song, the keyboardist playing the acoustic part on some gaywad "classical guitar" patch on his jankass Roland keyboard oughta do the trick. I had to shut the video off when John and the keyboard started trading off Kirk's solo. Dear god Dream Theater represents everything that's wrong with being a proficient musician. John Petrucci even looks like this kid that worked in computers at Best Buy with me in high school.

Now, Dream Theater, if any of you read this (and I'm sure you do)...this is how you play that song when you have a pair:

(yes I realize this is one a tour when they weren't playing the mid section, but as you watch the video, you'll see this was a tour where Metallica was too busy kicking the shit out of everybody to waste any time with that melodic crap)