Now for something you'll really like (Thought Sausage)

Now for something you'll really like

BEHOLD THE LATEST ADDITION TO MY FLEET

What you're looking at there is me after a 20 mile maiden voyage on my new yacht. Drew and myself motored out to the burbs this morning with the intentions of me scoping out a new dresser/clothing recepticle @ IKEA. We made our way to IKEA, and did what it is two straight males do whilst wandering through that store. A trash can, a place to hang towels, silverware and some battery operated egg beater later (no dresser...I'm lazy like that)

Anyway, since we were already out that far, and since neither of us have any business being that far out of town, we wandered around a bit. After lunch, we dropped into Dick's Sporting Goods, the primary purchase being some new goggles (I went the Speedo route). Upon wandering into the bike section, I mentioned to Drew that if they actually happened to have the John Deere bike in stock, I would immediately buy one (the odds of this of course were incredibly small since NOBODY ever has this bike). Well low and behold, not one, but TWO were there on the floor. Both Drew and I stood there in awe for what must have been a good solid minute until Drew stated the obvious: "HOLY SHIT DOOD THAT IS FUCKING MOOOOOOOOOOOONEY!!!!!"

Good to my word, and after we rode them around the hunting department much to the patrons and employees chagrin, I purchased the bike. Of course, we hadn't really thought about whether or not my car would hold such a leviathan:

Being scamps from Iowa, we had no problem using bungee cords to hold that lid down (it bears mentioning that I have enough shit in my trunk to survive for a week and a half without any other human contact).

After bypassing our stop by the Oakley store in Woodfield, we got back to the west loop and took the new bike (aka: Bertha) out on her maiden voyage. We went up to Wrigleyville and back (visiting friends along the way to show everyone that I was serious about getting this bike).

As for an objective review...all John Deere awesomeness aside, this bike is incredibly comfortable (as the case is with beach cruisers). It's like riding a recliner. You lean back rather than hunch over as with other styles. It's got the glide brakes which definitely aren't as suitable for manuevering traffic, but fun nevertheless. Having fenders on it was awesome and I thoroughly enjoyed going through puddles and not giving a shit about getting crap all over my back.

That aside, I already noticed shit rubbing on things they shouldn't rub on, noises mysteriously emerging out of nowhere and so on. I'll probably be going down to the bike room and having a look through it to see if I can figure out what the fuck (either later tonight after I flesh out this powerpoint or tomorrow before I fly to San Francisco). I imagine that's part and partial to paying $300 for a bike as opposed to $1000+, but hey, I don't see any beach cruisers coming out of the Trek factory.

Upgrades are inevitable. Since I obtained this bike, I am now clear to forsake all practical use of my mountain bike and turn that into a pure mud/dirt/rock-hoppin machine. So it's going to be getting clips, new handlebars and other things that will render it absolutely useless for daily riding. This also means my car will be getting an upgrade in the form of a bike rack (totally out of site when not being used though...mounts from the bottom)

As for Bertha...well she's gonna need a headlight. And I'm not talking some sissy "bike light". Nope, this girl is getting a full on blowtorch of radiance in the form of a moped/motorcycle headlight. I'm not sure exactly how the logistics of this are going to work, but consulting the electric engineers of the Irish variety will be in order. I want this thing to light up the entire lakefront when riding at night (especially around Lincoln/Lakeview cos well, it sucks for light there). Also with lighting comes the tailight. I can stand the SOP blinking thing every biker and their red headed stepbrother has. So that'll be going on back. Also in the works will be a rack capabable of supporting a cooler (for beer of course). Cooler will also be John Deere colors. And to top it all off, you are goddamned right this thing is getting an orange implement triangle mounted on the back.

The really tricky part is that I am going to require all the components to be easily removable. The reason is because, well, I live in Chicago, not Waverly Iowa and this bike would be a sitting duck anywhere (especially at the pools I swim). So, that massive headlight needs to be able to come off on the fly (in addition to the power supply), as does the cooler and tailight (not a problem).

NOTHING RUNS LIKE A DEERE

Posted by Dave McAnally on January 6, 2007 7:56 PM | Permalink

Comments (65)

Dan:

Remember to ride for endurance, and pace yourself. Don't ride for speed, and watch it going downhill. If you put an SMV (slow moving vehicle) sign on it, you can't go over 30mph, and that's pretty easy on a bike. Back in '02 I was doing over 35 going downhill on college street before I turfed it and skidded out, eventually clobbering the bench just east of the chinese restaurant up there by the quikstar. I had to buy two new rims,tires,&tubes for the ol' death trap, because both of 'em looked like pacman when I carried my bike back to campus, grateful that I didn't break my legs.

John Deere? Okay. You know, when I was a kid I had a bike that looked almost exactly like that. Mine was green too. Except it was called a Hiawatha, had a banana seat, and Dad said it was a girl's bike. It was at least 30 years old. Same handlebars even. And yeah, it had fenders too. I wonder if I can still find it around here. I think I remember where it's at, but I'll have to look. It can't be in good shape anymore though. Single speed, with backpedal brakes? I don't see handbrakes or gearshift levers on your new yacht.

Posted by Dan | January 6, 2007 11:33 PM

Posted on January 6, 2007 23:33

Dave McAnally:

Oh make no mistake, I am most definitely a cyclist. I am a founder and captain of Spokeasy (http://www.spokeasy.com) and put away a shitload of miles annually (I'll be riding across Iowa and Lone Pine in California this year, amongst the various triathlons and other rides). Other than Bertha, the fleet includes a Trek 1000 roadbike and a Gary Fisher Yahoo mountain bike (both of which can be found on the Spokeasy website). On the Trek, I've hit upwards of 40. You can't sustain a speed like that. On a hard ride, I'll average between 25 and 30 (over the span of about 50 miles).

On Bertha, I'll be doing good if I can get above 15. It just ain't fast. Of course that ain't the point.

Posted by Dave McAnally | January 6, 2007 11:42 PM

Posted on January 6, 2007 23:42

Dave Mcanally:

btw, that was http://www.spokeeasy.com ...two e's

Posted by Dave Mcanally | January 6, 2007 11:51 PM

Posted on January 6, 2007 23:51

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