Thought Sausage

For some reason I woke up really stupid early (as I'm known to do from time to time). Maybe not a bad thing since it is likely I'll be doing running before work (and possibly swimming). Because my brain seems to function on a different algorithm this time of morning, I made the following:

LIST OF TRIVIAL THINGS I DON'T OWN BUT MY LIFE WOULD PROBABLY BE COOLER IF I DID:

-Commando on DVD
-A banana hammock
-A people hammock
-A Chicago Blackhawks jersey
-one of those oil burner things from Yankee Candle (I used to have one, it ruled the school)
-TV Trays
-The Jimi Hendrix 2001 vinyl remasters
-A zippo-esque lighter fashioned to look like a pistol
-A Scarface movie poster with a frame
-a Ronco Food Dehydrator
-Re-seal caps for wine bottles
-A fedora styled hat
-a properly functioning Atari 2600
-An electric grill (the only kind we can have in this building)
-A radio controlled gas powered 4x4 truck
-A fully functioning Robocop pinball machine
-Electronic Battleship
-flip flops (as in the rubber things with the thong for your toes..not the jesus sneakers, I have those)
-Parachute pants (remember those?)
-Richard Pryor Live at Longbeach on DVD
-an electronic can opener (I think I do have one of these in storage somewhere)
-a switchblade comb
-a theremin (to prove it is possible to annoy my neighbors even more than I do now)
-a back scratcher
-a tent
-two lava lamps
-a frisbee
-a coat tree
-some floor wax
-a carpet shampoo-er
-a pogoball (remember these?)
-stilts
-a cookie/candy jar
-a crockpot