Presently I'm in a Holiday Inn Express in Dekalb Illinois. Tomorrow morning is the Illinois State Masters Swim meet so I'm about to sign off (7am warmups...really?). Turns out the hotel is like down the street from the pool so that works out. More on the adventures in Dekalb tomorrow.
Let me just say the one thing that kept Kozy's in the good graces with me was their service dept. At least up until the main tech dude at the one in River North wasn't working (Jeff I believe). That dude has always been straight up and has gone the extra mile without attempting to rake you over the coals. It bears mentioning that every cycle shop in Chicago that is remotely where 'rich people' may frequent will attempt to squeeze out every last penny they can of the customers in my experience. Now I expect this sort of treatment from the dudes up at the front counter cos well, they are sales kids and that's their job.
So thus brings us to today. Around lunch, Horowitz and I strolled into the Kozy on Erie and Franklin (one of Resolution's offices is down the street). The front derailler on my Kestrel isn't shifting properly and since I haven't really tweaked front deraillers I figured I'd have a pro look at it. So I asked the dude at the front desk if I brought the bike in after work and left it there all weekend, could they work on it and then let me pick it up on like Monday. The guy said there's no way Monday would work out, but that early in the week would be fine. I could live with this. So after work (and BTW the Windsor arrived...and yes it is fucking hot), before driving to Dekalb, I took the bike to Kozy's. I should mention that it is impossible to park on the street anywhere in the neighborhood so this cost ten bucks to park in a lot (for 5 minutes...fucking pirates). Anyway, I go in and this woman who's demeanor could only be described as 'frazzled' asks me if I need air in the tires. Um no? I explain that I was in earlier and they told me that I could leave my bike here and they'd get to it. The lady said there is no tech here that can take on any bike things (of course, all the posuers have to get their bikes tuned up to clog the lakepath). I said that that's alright, I just wanted to leave it and pick it up early next week. She tells me that's not possible because the 'warehouse is jam packed and that's "kind of the point of why we aren't taking on new services unless its by appointment".
Ahem...
Seeing as how this particular piece of information basically cost me 10 bucks in parking, I figured there was no harm in telling here that it sure would have been nice if the dude I talked to this afternoon would have told me this, as I just paid to park my car to drop this off because I'm in a hurry to get out of town. After she gave me the obligatory rolling of the eyes, she asks who it was I talked to. I didn't know his name, but I described him (after looking around, i realized my description narrowed down to, oh, every male who works there). She told me to go to the back and "talk to Steve". Steve was standing around doing nothing (well that's not true, he was sucking on a goddamn lollipop). It was easy enough to tell he was "the tech" because he had his apron on, and had the requisite bigass goatee that I think you have to don in order to be a bike tech. After I find out he is in fact 'the Steve', I explain my ordeal. Unlike the lady up front, Steve actually offers a viable solution I hadn't thought of. Steve tells me my best course of action to get the work done quickly would be to go to the Kozy's on 811 S Des Plaines because it's a bigger store and they probably don't have near the business since there's not as many people living around there so they will be able to get to it quicker. Plus, as I suspect was an attempt to make me feel better, he pointed out that my bike was really nice and he'd be apprehensive about leaving it amongst all the heaps people are bringing in for fear it'd get all banged up (fair enough I guess).
It seemed reasonable to forego the parking and drive to the other Kozy location if it meant getting this sorted out. I totally forgot about that store. It was even closer to the highway! So I walk in, and of course, all the dudes who work in the store are standing behind the counter bullshitting with each other. This seemed like a good sign. I go up to them and explain what's going on with the bike and ask if it'd be cool if I left it with them and picked it up during the week. One dude sort of laughs and says "Dude, we won't even be able to get to it until Friday" and then the rest of them sort of laugh at me like I'm a complete moron for even suspecting that a store as obviously jam packed as this (I was the only customer in the store) would assume they could find 10 minutes to tighten a derailler. I then explained how I'd just come from the store on Erie because they told me this store shouldn't have a problem. This struck them all funny. Let me just say there is nothing more retarded than having a discussion with a bike shop about "being too busy to take a look at that bike" with 4 guys standing behind a counter when you are the only person who isn't employed by the store in the building.
So I tell them I'll have to go sort it out elsewhere. I walk outside and start thinking about what the fuck I'm going to do. I didn't want to work on it myself, and I thought since a pro hadn't gone through it since I got it, I'd error on the side of safety and have that done. Then i started thinking about what next week's schedule would look like and it occured to me that I probably wouldn't be able to get on the bike until the weekend at the earliest (and besides, I've got a perfectly good roadbike for some hard rides anyway). So this "get to it on Friday" solution, while not ideal, wouldn't really disrupt my plans (we're going to a Cubs game on Monday night it seems).
So I go back in the store and say "You know on second thought, I'm not going to be able to ride this until the weekend anyway, I think I'll take you up on that". At this point I'm told to talk to Ross who is wandering aimlessly around the jerseys. Ross has hair and a beard just like Steve. I tell him the deal (Ross was the guy who originally told me about Friday). He totally lights up. "Yeah man totally we'll get it done". I ask if its cool if I leave it there until then since I have to leave town. He made sure I understood that was 'putting them out of their way' but 'he'd make it work'. Gee thanks asshole. Then I explain how the derailer wasn't moving and I'd never worked on one so I needed him to tighten in. He groped the bike here 'n there for a bit and declared it "do-able". Without missing a beat, Ross says 'So our basic tune-up sounds about right then?" as he points to a sign that says the "basic tuneup" is $69.99 (!!!). I say "naw dude I just need you to tighten this derailler". Ross says they will do that in the 70 dollar "basic tuneup". I point out that this is 10 minutes worth of work at best. That doesn't matter because apparently "these are the services we provide". Ross also explains that they'll grease my brand fucking new chain, "tighten everything" blah blah blah. I didn't really have time to sit and haggle over this, and I started thinking that 70 bucks was getting me the peace of mind that a professional had gone through and inspected my decidedly amatuer assembly job. Sure whatever.
I shit you not while I was thinking about this Ross started fucking with the brakes and shit. He actually said (and I quote): "Yeah man, we may want to look at these brake pads too, they look a little worn". This is the Kestrel Talon people. The bike I got a week ago. The bike i haven't actually ridden yet. I know goddamned well those brakes are brand fucking new and in perfect condition because I put 'em on and saw 'em up close and fucking personal (I can only assume Ross hadn't factored this scenario into his little brake-skimming plan). In order to cut the shit, I tell him that this bike is brand fucking new and those brakes haven't even been used yet. Ross took it in stride and said "right on". Now forget about the fact we're talking about a specialty $3k bike that only people 'in the know' would purchase, how did he miss the newness of this bike anyway? There's like minimal dirt from me riding it to practice (not even a mile) and tooling around in the alley. In no way shape or form could this bike be described as 'worn'.
Now we get to the paper work part. Something I might be interested in, as Ross put it, was the 'extended service program' Kozy's has. It's a service plan basically. they'll give me this 70 dollar thing once a year and then I can come in any time and have them "adjust the derailler or brakes right then and there no waiting". Not only does this work at "all Kozy locations" (including the two today that are much too swamped to even think about looking at my bike), but I have unlimited times I can do this. When Ross got to telling me about how they'll "change a tire for me" I tell him that I think I can handle changing a tire thank you very much.
The price of this wonderful service plan? 40 fucking dollars. I'm no accountant or financial guru, so maybe I was silly in asking...but sue me. I had to. I asked Ross "well how about I just buy that and you fix my derailler right here and now?" Apparently, this question isn't covered in the Kozy customer service guidebook. I am not even joking, Ross had to confer with the rest of the team to see if this was do-able. Turns out it wasn't. "Naw man, this is a post service program, so once you get service with us, you are eligible for this". I ask if they keep my name in a computer somewhere to keep track of this and he says yes. I point out that I had a crank rebuilt on another bike at Kozy, so that should mean I qualify right? Nope. He wasn't exactly sure why, but he was absolutely certain it wouldn't. FUCK IT I thought. I just need to get this sorted.
So..........2 stores later, an attempt to replace brand new brakes with other brand new brakes and 80 bucks poorer, my brand new bike is getting a "spring tune up", all the unused parts 're-lubed' and yes, the fucking derailler I needed tightened will gets its due. Cos that's the "service level Kozy offers"
Stab me with a fucking brick.
