Thought Sausage

Sent to
happypartychicago@bowlluckystrike.com,
chicagoparties@bowlluckystrike.com

For non-Chicago readers, The Lucky Strike is a bowling alley fashioned after the one in Big Lebowski that Howoritz and Genender adore. It's also right next to the AMC River East movie theater so sometimes we stop in there before movies.

Dear Sir/Madam

I wasn't sure who this particular issue would pertain to so I took a stab at both emails. I apologize to whichever this doesn't apply.

You see I frequent the Lucky Strike around once a month. I'm not really a bowler, but my friends are, and they really like your 'Hamburger fries' (which are pretty good I must admit). I generally hang out, drink beer, play pool and so forth when I'm there. My issue isn't really with the bar, alley, pool or any non-hamburger fry food on your menu. This issue happens before I set foot in the place.

Simply put, your door guys are extremely unpleasant. I'm not entirely sure why this is. They appear to be easy going fellows, and that's cute how you put 'em in those suits and all. Nevertheless, in all my years of going to Lucky Strike, I am constantly amazed at how surly and generally rude they are. It's practically an ongoing joke amongst my friends. Look, I know the ID policy is a necessary evil. I don't imagine an establishment enjoys invading people's privacy/personal-space any more than we (your patrons and thus breadline) it. However, your door staff has turned this into nothing short of being admitted into a gualag (gualags not being known for their "fun and social atmosphere"). I wonder if there is something being misinterpreted in the "Lucky Strike Door Attendant Handbook" because this is pretty consistent. Almost invariably, before I can even approach the door, one of them yells out "ID'S GENTLEMEN!!" and attempts to stare a hole through you as you reach in your pocket. Then they look over it (most of my friends have Illinois ID's, save for a few Iowa and british passports) for preposterously long periods of time. Then they eye up at you, look back down at the ID (cue scowl or some angry look), then hand it back to you like its a losing lottery ticket. Perhaps you should make sure the door guys are aware of the fact that patrons in your establishment are a 'good thing'. Acting all bummed out because I'm 29 (and an organ donor, 175 pounds and whatever else he was looking at on my ID) and am about to spend money which will pay his wages is the incorrect reaction. I've made the mistake of wearing a hat there Sunday. A simple "I just need ya to take the hat off" would have been fine. Instead, the unnamed artisan at the door says "CAN'T COME IN WITH THAT HAT" (I capitalize everything to illustrate that he was in fact yelling at me because he needed me to know this 20 feet from the entrance). It also bears mentioning that this was a 2008 Beijing Olympics hat, which isn't exactly offensive (unless you're afraid other people will resent me because bowling still isn't an olympic sport). Well he was correct. I didn't 'come in there with that hat' and instead we waited at Jake Melnicks for the movie to start.

Having been to many establishments and other bowling alleys in Chicago, I know that it is entirely feasible to check ID's and enforce a dress code without making your customers feel like criminals. Here are some suggestions that I've seen other establishments and door guys use that you may find helpful:

-Instead of saying "ID'S GENTLEMEN" or "NEED YOUR ID", it would be nice if they could at least acknowledge me as a person and say "Hello sir (or ma'am as gender dictates), welcome to Lucky Strike, I just need to see an ID real quick". Bonus points if they bother to read my name on the ID and say "Thanks Dave" afterwards (note-that is very effective in elevating my propensity to tip)

-Glance at the ID and hand back. This process should not take more than 5 seconds (go ahead and time 5 seconds and see...no really I'll wait). It may be helpful to post which date one has to be born on or before somewhere on that door guy podium you have so they can reference it quickly. Also, when it is plainly obvious the patron is older than 21, scrutinizing the picture is somewhat ridiculous and quasi-insulting. With all due respect, we (the patrons) don't believe for a second we're dealing with some FBI Composite Identity Expert who happens to moonlight as a door guy at the Lucky Strike. Really now.

-Smile! Isn't it weird how easy this is, yet people don't do it? I can assure you, a simple smile or something that cues said door guy isn't there against his will is powerful stuff. Nothing major, they don't even have to say anything. But meeting a guy who at least appears cheerful verses a guy who looks like he's about to send you to a gas chamber would create a much more positive experience even before I set foot in the Lucky Strike.

-Dress codes are one of those things I guess. From your website, I would imply you're having trouble with gangs or something. Fair enough. Lots of places in the area are the same way. Rather than flat out telling me I "can't come in with that hat", a simple request to take it off is much easier. Perhaps "Hey, could I get ya to take the hat off?" or "Sir, we have a policy against hats, could I ask you to take yours off while your in here?". Bonus points for adding on an "I'd appreciate it" or a "Thanks sir/man".

These things are all free to implement and I would be happy to provide you with examples of places you can visit in Chicago where these tactics are employed.

Thank you

Dave McAnally

PS- Great job on the grilled buffalo chicken sandwich. It's nice to see people grilling those more than frying them.