Thought Sausage

This means you you and you!

Behold the orange beast has grown!

You'll note there is now a front rack which is housing my tent and a new sleeping bag (it's a 10 degree, and oughta do the trick).

Sorry about this one being blurry.

Other additions that have occured since I last posted pics of this bike include the ipod/stereo in the rear water bottle holder. That bad boy comes with a nifty little remote which is mounted on the aero bars next to the computer. That in and of itself is one of the coolest additions here, cos that thing is LOUD. Also, you'll note a chair mounts behind the seatpost, so I'm like locked and loaded. You probably can't see them, but I also had Armadillos put on so as to put up with the added weight and the inherent shit that is on the road.

All and all, this bike is weighing in around 70 pounds now. It definitely slows me down, but I have the weight balanced on it pretty evenly so going up hills and such isn't really any big thing. Hell its probably good training. the good news with teh extra gear is that the warmer sleeping bag allows me to ride later into the season, so I'll like, get my money's worth out of all this shit.

Watched some of the RNC speeches last night. Fred Thompson went to great lengths to create a vivid image of how bad the torture McCain suffered in Hanoi was. Lieberman sounded like the good 'ol boy and Bush gave an ackward speech that, when stacked up against those two, revealed just how poor of a public speaker he really is.

That said, one striking difference I noticed between the DNC and the RNC themes are that the RNC spends much more energy rallying around the people, whereas the DNC rallies around their party. Perhaps this is because the Republicans have had the office for 8 years and Democrats need to "rally for the cause". Who knows.

What was painfully obvious is that the GOP is VERY good at mobilizing their base. Other than Ron Paul, they don't have issues with getting the party unified. There is no "Let's get republicans united!". It seems like all they have to do is pump up their candidates and the buy-in just sort of happens. Fred Thompson was there for the sole purpose of making people feel warm and fuzzy about John McCain (and/or put a tear in their eye).

Why does this matter? Because these people VOTE. Those old folks to like listening to Fred Thompson talk like some old southern Matlock-ish dude will be at the polls front and center. Always have, always will be. There's no concern about that. Just make them feel 'proud to be an American' and they do their civic duty.

The democrats have a problem here. Specifically, their base are liberal, typically a younger demographic and most of all, MOST of 'em don't vote. Sure, there's probably more of them, but what good is it when they don't vote?

Thus leads me to my point. And let me go ahead and say right away that I have no stats or research to back this up. This is total gut feeling. But I believe all the 'hate bush' and anti-GOP rhetoric that comes from Hollywood is actually contributing to the low voter turnout.

So let's say you need to reach young voters. Maybe the 18-21 demographic. Now, as we all know, when you are 18-21,you're basically a giant tool. If you happen to be that age, don't feel bad. I was a tool when I was that age, and someday you'll be my age looking back at what a giant tool you were when you were that age. 18-21 year old kids are exposed to TONS of media. The entertainment industry is most decidedly liberal (and anybody who thinks otherwise can just go ahead and shut the fuck up because you don't know what the fuck you're talking about). Furthermore, EVERYBODY has to have an opionion on the political landscape (regardless of how qualified or informed it is).

Let me just go ahead and say I think ALL of the entertainment industry is politically retarded. Michael Moore is a good propagandist, but he's not interested in facts. Bono doesn't know any more about how to rid the world of poverty than you or I do. And Al Jourgensen and Moby's hatred of George Bush has more to do with looking like a rebel than it does anything based in real facts. Most of these people not only do not have college educations, but live pampered lifestyles and haven't felt the pinch of a recession or had a son, daughter, brother or sister go to war in their lives. So that's how I feel about about that.

Nevertheless, these people and their ilk are VERY influential to young people. They are the faces and voices that tell kids what's cool, how to dress, who to emulate, and what are the cool things to say. This is basically the essence of pop culture. Now, when that pop culture spends an inordinate amount of time (such as hollywood has) giving interviews about how terrible Bush is, or how terrible some particular plight of some people is and how it is directly caused by Bush is in Rolling Stone, MTV, the Daily Show etc etc what are these kids supposed to think?

Here's what I think they think. They think (remember, they are tools) "gee, if PDiddy thinks Bush is an asshole and a terrible guy, EVERYBODY probably thinks like that! I better think like too!" This is why so many people hate Bush but can't name a specific policy, veto or law he signed in that instigated their hatred (HE WENT TO WAR FOR OIL!).

That leads me to my next point. If you grew up in an era of instant gratification, email and unprecedented accesibility to everything...voting is a huge pain in the ass. You have to register, take time out of your day and go to a poll (as far as I know you can't vote online), or actually "snail mail" (god remember that?) a ballot back to your precinct. Now put yourself back in the mind of this 18-21 Tool demographic. If the voting time rolls around, and all you are exposed to (what? You think most of these kids get their news from actual news or journals?) are what pop-culture influencers of your generation are sayin (BUSH SUCKS! FUCK BUSH! OBAMA IS THE WHITE KNIGHT SAVIOR, BUT STILL FUCK BUSH!)...what are you going to think? Are you going to think "gee I better get my ass out to the polls and make sure I get my say" or "Well, Obama has to have this thing shored up so no point in getting involved"? Tell the truth now

Paris Hilton was a microcasm of this very thing in 04. She was a spokesperson for Rock the Vote and talked about how "Voting is hot" (or whatever idiotic slogan she had) and how she "didn't like the war, and thought Kerry was a good choice" but then after the elections, it turned out she hadn't even registered to vote? Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

So to the entire entertainment industry. Just shut the fuck up. No really. Stop it. You're not helping. If you feel the need to express your political views, say nice things about Obama. Talk about how great you think he is. Give examples of policies he's initiated in Illinois or in the senate that you're happy about. Make a case for how great Obama is. The GOP WILL get their base out. They will vote in droves. Their base is a generation that doesn't live in a world of instant gratification and doesn't give a shit what Moby, Rage Against the Machine, PDiddy or Paris Hilton think about, well, anything. If you REALLY support Obama, then you need to mobilize the young demographic. In fact, as this race is in a deadlock, that untapped resource of potential voters are your ace in the hold (provided you stop fucking things up). Stop giving them this false sense of a reality that the Republicans are so evil and vile that nobody in the nation would ever actually vote for one.

So, through the various interwebs, friends, things that are no longer valid etc etc ad nauseum...I got a hold of this today. For anybody who doesn't know...this is the new Metallica album that comes out next week (and for the record, yes, I'll still buy it...I'm not 'like that' Lars...don't worry). It's been heralded as "the return to the classic sound" and all that. If you're reading this and give a shit about Metallica, then you've already the new singles. Allz I gotta say is you pretty much have a feeling for how this thing is gonna sound. Those tunes pretty much cover what you're in for.

Since there's a ton of "track by track" reviews and typical journalistic bullshit, I'll save that and just get to my initial impressions after going through each song a few times. Specifically, the feel of the album and the mechanics in the production.

First off, it absolutely is fucking great. There's some serious ballsy tunes here. It's cool listening to these old dudes taking everyone to task. This is weird for a Metallica album to live up to hype. It's got everything it's been trumped up to have (which isn't always a good thing, which I'll get to). Riffs with serious balls, tigher than a nun's cunt and the arrangements totally feel like something from Puppets or Justice.

Unforgiven III in no way resembles Unforgiven or Unforgiven II whatsofucking ever. Lyrics or music. In fact the only similarity I caught was that the format is like is that the verses are heavy and the chorus are soft. IMHO this is the weak point on the album. It is "kind of" growing on me. One common thing throughout this album is that there are no backing vocals and this song really could have used them. His melodies just don't hold up by themselves. I'm assuming production decision was made that took precedence. What's the big fucking deal with shit like that with big bands these days? I don't understand how people will sacrifice the quality of a song for the sake of keeping things sounding 'raw' or 'live' or whatever the fuck Rick Rubin probably went for. And raw the album is. Kirks solos sound extremely dry, so the solos take on the same tone as Justice (minus the chorus/verb tone he had on Puppets or Justice).

The snare is mixed like almost everything Rubin has been involved with. So if you like how the drums on the System of a Down and Slipknot records sounded, you'll like these. Lars's drumming is actualy pretty intricate (for him at least) all around. The bass sounds really full on a system that reproduces it, but I suspect Rob was using fingers throughout (wow what a bizarre concept for metal nowadays!) so if you listen to it on laptop speakers or earbuds..basically anything that won't reproduce actual bass tones, it's going to sound pretty thin. But jesus fuck that bass rumbles on a real stereo. It's weird how much the mix of the album will vary based on what system it's on. Basically, it's squashed (go figure). Not as bad as Justice or anything, and maybe not as harsh as St. Anger, but definitely not as wide of a spectrum as Black Album, Load or Reload had.

I RLY wish they would have triple tracked the guitars like on Puppets (although the riffs here are way to intricate to keep that from being muddy). The phatness isn't here. It seems like they compromised the phat sound for a tight sound. So these guitars sit in the mix about like how Megadeth's Symphony of Destruction or United Abominations sounds. I'm still not sure if that's a good thing or not. I guess it is good in that you get to hear all the nuances in the strumming and open chords.

But beyond any production quirks, the songs still kick ass. Things are clearly not written around vocal hooks which could be good or bad I guess (save for All Nightmare Long which has a great chorus vocal melody). It certainly doesn't sound like a Justice/Puppets/Lightning wannabe album. The riffs are fresh. They take on a prog feel like Justice in parts, but I hear influences of Slipknot and System of a Down in there. So it won't be an album that doesnt' sit well along with what's going on now (as if I know fuck all about that).

There's an instrumental on here that kicks ass without treading old ground. That was impressive. Even has a Black Label Society feel to it...real grinding.

I've seen other reviews say it, and I'll echo, Broken Beat & Scarred is fucking killer. It'll be a live fav for sure. Killer riff. All Nightmare Long stood out right away, as did Judas Kiss.

Basically...if you are at all familiar with Metallica's canon..buy this fucker. You will dig. These guys are most definitely back to melting faces off with guitars just like circa 1987. there's NOTHING here that resembles St. Anger save for long songs. The arrangements are smart, the lyrics aren't cheese (save for a few parts), the drumming is definitely aggro and the guitar solos are great.

My one wish is that they incorporated the wide spectrum/EQ range they had with Black Album/Load and Reload along with the verb and granduer in the production of Puppets and Lightning. This has a super crisp tight sound which is great for a modern metal band...but it sort of misses the mark for the songs Metallica did here for me. Also, if they would have gone back and put some vocal harmonies where needed, it would have totally capapulted Unforgiven III into amazing levels.

Portrayal Of Obama As Elitist Hailed As Step Forward For African Americans

Well Ian wanted me to call out Dennis Clayson and his woefully uninformed treatise on UNI's athletics (University of Northern Iowa's football program doesn't provide value to the school? Really? Seriously? I'll be sure to remember that next time I'm in Cedar Falls and I see an alumni wandering around College Square in a UNI Economics Dept Jersey).

Well I was getting ready to dole a verbal bitchslap out on that subject, and then this came across my radar. I think you will all agree I made the right choice. I mean Christ Almighty, there's unique and then there's those things that are a reason you are alone in your cause:

Like seriously...there is nothing I can possibly add to this to make it any more tragic than it already is. The next time somebody tells you Europeans have a better taste in music, kindly point them to this abomination.

UPDATE: As it seems to be turning out, these guys are like some kind of Fucktard Event Horizon. Behold Van Canto performing their version of Metallica's Battery. Fair warning, you may want to make sure you don't have any sharp objects or anything that could be jammed in your ear within reach. I'm just sayin...

I've been watching this election with more of a marketing mindset this year than last. I've got my hard-wired differences with the democrats and republicans that don't really change from election to election. They put different people up, they basically talk shit about each other ultimately want to do the same things they always say they are going to do. Nevertheless, I've been watching the election process and the bump Sarah Palin's jump into the fray has given the Republicans. More specifically, I've been curious as to how Democrats will react. They came into the RNC with pretty good momentum and the entire scene was turned on its side. It seems like Barak is no longer the rock star and that particular honor has gone to Sarah Palin (for better or worse). Overall, I've been pretty disappointed with how the Democrats are responding so far. If I were in charge of their campaign, these are some things I would do:

-Shoot holes in the unity of the McCain/Palin ticket ASAP - With the Republicans pushing Sarah Palin as a politcal maverick and aggressive reformer, now is the time for democrats to attack the massive earmarks Alaska has, her spending in Wasilla and her alliance to senator Stevens. They need to show how Palin's record demonstrates the exact things McCain claims to be against. Since the Republicans are basically keeping Palin away from the spotlight, now is the perfect time to get McCain/Palin on the defense. Democrats have a great opportunity to force her and McCain into explaining the discrepency.

-Stop Talking about how "We Don't Need More of the Same" - Are we really in 2008 pretending hedging on a line like this will work? Here's a clue Democrats: anybody this line is going to resonate with is already voting for Obama and any undecided is hearing the same thing from the other side. It's a dead-locked zero-sum argument and it's a loser. Replace this talking point with some specifics. What exactly don't we need more of? What is it in the McCain/Palin ticket's agenda that supports that? We know McCain voted 90% in agreement with the Bush administration, but what does that mean for the future? Keep this 'more of the same' talk focused on the economy. Narrow the focus.

-Bring your A game for the debates - This is a problem for democrats. As Bush would say, "they misunderestimate". Year after year. It's pathetic. Govenor Palin and Senator McCain are already being branded as underdogs for this from what I can see, and if there is one thing the Republican Party is good at, it's holding their own in a debate. Do not assume you've got this in the bag beacuse Biden has the experience and Obama has the eloquence.

-Frame the battle around Education - I think this is a weak point in the Republican platform Democrats can hit on. And it sounds like this is an area a lot of moderates are concerned with. Show how open enrollment will lead to more closed schools because the system isn't set up for people to compete (I personally flip flopped on this after talking with my mom). This is also a great segue into Obama's education plan, which hasn't really been discussed in detail (although I suspect it'll be a hot point come debate time).

-Stop talking about how important it is to create wealth for the middle class and just talk about creating wealth. - This is a position the liberals in America take I whole heartedly disagree with. It hasn't, nor will it ever be, the governments job to figure out how to make the middle class more wealthy by comparison. This position is an insult to everybody who worked from the ground up to earn higher incomes (I pigeonhole myself in this category) and democrats rely on people's ignorance to this in order for it to work. They need to re-brand their entire tax plan around creating wealth and making everyone better off (even though it won't for the upper upper classes who will be much worse off). I think they could do a much better job of selling it through to Americans by cutting out this "Oh the most important thing we can do is make the middle class wealthy!" bullshit.

But of all these, the first up should be the McCain/Palin division. They really need to attack the republicans from how the records of Palin and McCain don't sync up at all. There's a lot of really powerful points to be made that not only SHOULD Palin and McCain explain, and since we know McCain only met Palin for 15 minutes before the RNC, there's a strong argument to be made against McCain's "maverick 'thinks for himself"" position. The Republican ticket seems to hinge on the unity of the party and how effectively they shore up the base. Shoot holes in it and do it fast.

Ask Mario

That there is the 2009 Hummer H3t. This weekend I ordered me a Graphite Metallic version of the above. Should take around six weeks to arrive.

Anybody out there wanna buy a 2005 low mileage Mustang? Silver with a custom red leather interior. It'll make you the most popular kid in school!

UPDATE: Okay now I know what the fuck Mike was talking about with this Graphix nonsense. For some reason, I swear to christ Movabletype fucks with what I type. There's a Gnome in my computer ruining my shit or something.

If you're like me, then the lion's share of your stock of choice spent the last couple days getting kicked in the balls. Goddamn but that put the condo buying activities on the backburner until Wall Street sorts itself the fuck out.

So in the meantime, I'll just pretend none of that money exists.

Spent the weekend in the Quad Cities doing training ride/runs and mountain biking. That was awesome, save for the rain. I haven't taken my tri bike out in the rain before, but needs must when the devil drives (who said that?). It held up like a champ, but still...jesus christ. The last triathlon of the season is next weekend and then I'm basically going to put that bike to rest for the season and spend the rest of the year on the orange beast. Plus I can't wait to mountain bike more. Going out to Sunderbruch on Sunday made me realize just how much I love that style of riding (even when it was wet, and thus slippery...or SLIPPERY WHEN WET! Oh I just kill me!). Especially with the upgrade from a Mustang to a Hummer, my transportation abilities to find really good trails have increased exponentially (Hello Kettle Moraine!)

This weekend, we're meeting up with a few other teams and doing a ride along the Illinois side of the Mississippi in the Moline area..should be cool. Most of these people I haven't seen since Ragbrai. This will be good.

Also, you'll be happy to know I'm officially a card carrying yuppie douchebag. You see I've been pricing and courting maid services. That's right...Dave McAnally is hiring a cleaning lady for his 2 bedroom apartment because he is a lazy sloppy bastard. Well that was the case until Merry Maids came through here and informed me that they would require $231 per month to keep this place clean and (I quote) "they can't work miracles". FUCK THAT. I am most definitely my mother's son at some point...so I went to target, loaded up on cleaning gear and cleaned the FUCK out of this place and I am now proud to wager that my bathroom is cleaner than yours. And thanks to the scrubbing bubbles perpetual shower cleaner, it may stay that way.

You know, I never did figure out how you "trigger the fireworks". Guess this guy ain't gonna be seeing me in Orlando.

So a posthumous Mitch Hedberg CD is out now. I grabbed it on itunes yesterday and it's fucking hilarious. This is easily on par with All Together and in many cases far exceeds. The show itself was a few months before he died and you can really hear how his act progressed. He pwnz the shit out of a heckler in the middle, and even the bad jokes are hilarious. The infamous Mitch Hedberg rhythm is in full force here.

If you don't know who Mitch Hedberg is, march your ill-informed ass over to Youtube and be enlightened. For those of you in the know, you pretty much know the vibe. Procure this immediately.

So after waiting around for 3 years threatening all of us with 'Supergangbang' (which I suppose has become the Chinese Democracy of Chicago Industrial Rock), Die Warzau has dropped Vinyl 88. It's more or less a greatest hits album with a twist: everything is remixed and there are six new tracks (2 of which everyone who would give a shit has heard at this point).

I've given the album a few runs through, and like all DW albums (except for MAYBE Convenience), I'll probably have a much better respect for this album after hearing it a ton of times on different stereos and different settings. So that said, take these as my initial thoughts. Your results may vary.

Some of the older songs that had that signature Jim Marcus 'noise over the sake of taste'thing he ruined Sister Machine Gun's Torture Technique with have been fixed (for the most part). Particularly, the cuts from Engine sound really good here. All Good Girls has a much more palpable mix, with the vocals really far in the front and rely much more on the merits of Marcus's more-than-able vocal chords than a bunch of fake sounding verbs 'n choruses. That happens in a lot of places on the older cuts (the Land of the Free mix is awesome for example). Coming Down and Funkapolis sound much more, I dunno, modern? It's a good thing for sure.

All of the songs have these musical interludes between them so if you listen straight through, the album sounds like one cohesive work. In some parts that is really cool, like the transition from Born Again to All Good Girls with its Bowie-Berlin-Trilogy-Esque synths. Other times it's pure shit like the Coming Down to Kleen one (which btw, on itunes, these songs are swapped...typical Die Warzau scatter-brainness).

All in all, despite the eclectic reputation Die Warzau has, this is about as straight ahead of a dance record as anything I've heard from them. A lot of the weird new directions explored on Engine and Convenience are in tact, but with a much more dancy filter.

As for the new cuts (not including Insect or Born Again, both of those are killer). They sound like filler except for Hitler's Brain. It has George Clinton (yes that George Clinton) doing this spoken word shit with a huge chorus from Jim Marcus. All in all that's a track that will be a staple at Neo I'm quite certain.

I wanted to write this review talking about how this is a great launching point for people who aren't really into Die Warzau yet. Unfortunately, that's not really what you get here. It's basically six new tracks with old ones thrown in and remixed to sound like new tracks. It'd be like if Trent Reznor took songs from Pretty Hate Machine and remixed them with the tools he had to make Year Zero with. In 2007.

My gut feeling here is that Die Warzau bit off more than they could chew with the Supergangbang project. Like maybe they weren't REALLY all that into making new music. Or maybe their day jobs got in the way (Jim is a typographer by day now and I think Van is an engineer at CRC or something). So rather than just quit altogether, they rushed this out the door in order to get the songs they wrote committed to record. It's not a bad record persay, but a 'greatest hits' package from a band that seems to hate everything that is capitalism screams "we're out of money and ideas".

Honestly, this one doesn't have me flipping out as much as I hoped it would. Maybe a few more spins will change my opinion. It's here and on itunes if you're so inclined.

That's what I'm here for

This article was posted on Myspace today. Righteous Path is the campaign song of 08. Nice

And for my money, the song that best captures the economic anxieties and aspirations voters are feeling now — and the song of the 2008 cycle — is "The Righteous Path" by the Drive-By Truckers. Take a look at the pitch-perfect opening lyrics:

In just the first two lines, the song seems to anticipate $4 gasoline and the subprime housing crisis, even though it was recorded in 2007 and released on the album "Brighter Than Creation's Dark," this January. With accurate artistic forecasting like this, I'd trade these drunken country punks for a boatload of bickering economists.

Time is flying...

Tonight I'm a guest lecturer at University Of Chicago at a digital marketing class. I'm supposed to talk about "Advanced Search Engine Optimization tactics and Analysis". I haven't talked to a college class in awhile, but they are always a good audience. I think they look at me in one of those "well shit, if that guy can do it, then I sure as fuck could" kind of ways. Oh little do they know... It's hard makin this look easy!

Did a ride with Team Tallywacker captains that was put on by Team Blonde along the Mississippi this weekend. Very good times. That trail that goes along the river is pretty cool. A combination of 10 hours of drinking and being pitch fucking black caused me to take a pretty big spill on my bike, thus leaving me with some pretty cool scrapes and bruises on my left arm and leg. Nothing serious but cool lookin' no less.

This weekend I'll be in Waterloo Iowa for the Peregrine Triathlon. From the looks of things, I'll be meeting up with an old professor late afternoon Friday and then watching the Presidential debates from my room at the Econolodge. Fun times. With any luck, Saturday will be spent riding the course, getting the course details and attempting to see people I haven't seen in awhile. One aspect of traveling to races is that there really isn't a whole lot of room for extra-curricular activities (see drinking). But hopefully Cedar Falls has enough to do that doesn't involve that so I can at least take in the sights a little.

Then Sunday is race day.

After this race is over, I'll start running/swimming and getting back to strength training (which I summarily blew off all summer).

Oh and the song of the day is Swanee. It's been 15 years since the Bentmen did anything cool (including this). But thank god this vid is still up. Get hip to these Bostonians program kids.

Am laying in bed at the Econolodge in Waterloo about to get up for the race tomorrow. Sorry to everyone I didn't see. This turned out to be an in/out trip without a whole lot of fanfare. As you can imagine, partying and doing the things required by me to hang and catch up are completely un-conducive to having a good race.

I DID manage to procure a UNI cycling Jersey at Scheels today....BONUS. I've been meaning to get one forever and they had them on clearance.

Speaking of UNI, I spent today doing two things. Checking out the 90th Anniversary stuff in downtown Waterloo for John Deere. Some old tractors, some new ones, and lots of REALLY old motors from the Waterloo Boy days (WB was a motor company John Deere bought about 90 years ago and began making tractors that powered themselves). The other thing was that my brother and I wandered through the UNI Campus. That brought back memories. It's been at least 7 years since I've strolled through there, and this is the first time I've really felt nostalgic about a place. Like I remembered exactly what I was feeling like about college and so forth. Very good times basically. Knowing what I know now about the way the world turns, I would do a lot of things different if I could. I would have gotten more involved with activities at the school, played more intermural sports, and just all around taken more advantages of the social aspects of being in college (for those who don't know, I spent most of college playing shows and being away from college in a van somewhere). But ultimately, everything worked out for the best I suppose.

Anyhow, the fucking Larry the Cable Guy movie is on the TV right now, so naturally I have to change it to something else.

Anybody who stands in front of Barney Frank gets a shower.

CAVEAT: I can't find anything on the t00bs of this cat in the past couple days. That said, I love Barney. But fucking hell...does he say it without spraying it?