Thought Sausage

The Great Bike Overhaul Pt 3

2010-06-08T19:55:38Z

I've been busy training and tending to matters on my other bikes so I haven't had much time to work on this lately, but we're back at it this week (although I have the Hy Vee Tri this weekend, and various things in the coming weekends so we'll see what that leaves for time). I'm getting down to the serious business of getting rust off this thing. I've been looking at various homespun remedies on the interwebs and it seems that vinegar is actually pretty good at getting rid of most forms of surface rust. So with that in mind, I decided to begin the process of dipping damned near every piece of un-painted metal on this thing into a dog bowl and piece of tin full of vinegar. So you'll note the fine mess I'm making in Marley's garage now: There's really no rhyme or reason as to what's going on. I have all the parts in there so I'm not worried about losing anything. I guess we'll see how much it matters if the pieces are touching or not. The plan is to leave them in here for a few days and see where we're at. It sounds like that's about the norm for this kind of buildup. I'm finally getting somewhere as far as disassembling the bike is concerned. After some serious winching I got the pedals off. The big challenge now is that it occurred to me on the train this morning after reading a few other ehow articles: that gooseneck is actually RUSTED to the fork. So it looks like a hammer/mallet of sorts will be involved in whacking it loose: Other challenge: the way they put the crank on back then is nothing like how they do it now. There's like, tools and shit that will unscrew it now, whereas this looks like some Tawainese dude winched the pedals in with no intention of them ever coming undone. I'm going to try to track down a manual for this bike and see what they say about them coming off. We have to take Marley's Free Spirit (yeah that one I said could be a donor bike...we decided it's just too fucking retro-cool to part out) to the shop to get tires on it since they are an odd size, so I may just take this frame down too and see if they can get that crank off. They'll probably give me the usual "are you fucking kidding me" speech bike shops give you when you walk in with something like this, but I'm used to that. On another note, I'm starting to kick around the idea of painting this thing myself rather than taking it somewhere. I haven't entirely resigned to the idea, but A. it's not like it'd be all that hard if I'm going to strip it down anyway and B. I am thinking rather than a straight black, give this thing a black with gold metal flake (minor metal flake though, not that big thick glitter shit on Mexi-mobiles). The rub here is going to be to find a way to either mask off the decals or get a new set. I could always reprint 'em I guess, but it'd be a LOT easier if they are already available. UPDATE: Holy fucking shit but the manuals for these things command some coin! Seriously? 70 bucks for a 10 speed manual? The bike cost less than that! There's got to be a PDF of it somewhere. Looks like I have some Googling to do on the way to Des Moines on Friday. UPDATE 2: Welp it appears this here bike has a cottered crank. Good thing there happens to be a group of people (who seem to be from the UK) that are fans of these things and have written all about them. This gentlemen in particular goes through all the ins and outs of getting a cottered crank apart. So I guess I'll be taking a hammer to this bike next time I see it.

The Great Bike Overhaul Pt 2

2010-05-18T19:40:29Z

Welp, work on the 10 speed has begun in earnest. I have it all torn apart, which counts for something. I have yet to connect with the dude in Wicker Park who restores these things. I have a race this weekend and we're planning on a multi-day ride next weekend (on my Trek touring bike mind you...not this thing), so I my time for TLC with this thing is somewhat limited. No matter. Rome wasn't built in a day right? (as an aside, I was in Moline Illinois this weekend and while scoring various John Deere pieces of propaganda, I came to find out there is in fact a surplus leftover of these bikes. In other words, you could theoretically buy a brand new 1971 John Deere 10 Speed if you have the right connections...but what'd be the fun in that?) So when I picked this up, I actually thought that back guard was brass. Some steel wool action revealed that it is a chrome piece (although in serious need of some help). Those spokes are in pretty sorry shape (you'll note one is missing entirely). I don't really know any efficient way to shine them up. Any ideas? Obviously one will need to be replaced and that will sort of ruin the patina effect the others have. I'll see what he'd charge just to replace all of them (I imagine it'd border on prohibitively expensive on the premise that it'd just be stupid to sink that kind of cash into a rim like this). Luckily I have a line on some tires like those in the pic, so I can keep the side-wall action. Nice. So this actually wasn't in as sorry of shape as I thought it'd be. The actual crank is pretty much ready to roll just as it is. The gears and the drive-train is another story (You'll note the chain is still there...I didn't have a bolt cutter handy). All that will need to be re-chromed. So as you can see, the frame desperately needs a fresh coat of black paint unless I'm going to try to pawn the scheme off as gray. However, as mentioned, the decals themselves are perfect...not really faded at all. I haven't tracked down a surplus place that still has these yet, but to be honest, I haven't really started looking either So the handlebars are actually in pretty good shape. The brakes will need to be tightened, but all in all, save for a few minor spots, this is fairly usable. Another decal specimen. This one is crucial...what with the Made in Taiwan moniker. This bike was originally more of a matte/satin black, and I'm thinking of spraying it in a more modern glossy black (none of that metal flake though...as that'd just be silly). So contrary to what people have suspected, this isn't actually a Brooks saddle. It's just a brown vinyl thing. Looks pretty good, but as you can see that seatpost is almost a lost cause. I mean really...why bother when these things are a dime-a-dozen? So that's where things stand here. I oiled/cleaned up that Free Spirit in Marley's garage. Aside from a new set of tires, we're pretty much ready to dance with that one. Pics forthcoming.

The Great Bike Overhaul Pt 1

2010-05-12T22:11:11Z

A couple weeks ago, I snagged this on Ebay and will begin restoring the bike in earnest over the course of the coming year. For those of you not into the whole 'clicking on links' thing, that's a black 1971 John Deere Men's 10 Speed Bike. I'll be logging the progress (or lack thereof, depending on how you look at it). This is my first REAL restore (as in, taking a bike from abject travesty to potentially-pristine shape). The Bike: Our subject is a 1971 John Deere Men's 10 Speed. I've actually been watching the intarknot for awhile for one to come up within a reasonable price-range. The problem with this bike is that A. People selling them think it must be engineered by JD Engineers (it wasn't) and thus, was some super high-end bike in its day (it wasn't) and thus have ridiculous expectations for what its' worth, or B. John Deere fanboys get wind of the auction and drive the price way beyond what it's actually worth. The truth of the matter is that these bikes were a marketing effort by John Deere in the 70's as a way to cash in on the 10 speed craze that swept the nation circa early 70's. Like many other folks, John Deere was SOL for scoring a manufacturing deal with a US bicycle manufacturer as everything in the US was tapped. Even Schwinn was manufacturing overseas by this point. As a result, this bad boy was made in Taiwan. But this wasn't any 'ol Taiwan (it's worse). This was at the point of Taiwan's industrial revolution, wherein they made anything and everything for pennies on the dollar. How? By employing workers in abhorrent conditions that's how. This bike was most likely assembled in some kind of Grapes of Wrath factory from a bygone era. Interestingly enough, it's also one of the first products made overseas to have a John Deere moniker on it. In its day, if you wanted to buy a John Deere bike, you didn't go to the bike shop (as far as I know at least). You went to the farm implement shop where these were sold right along other John Deere products. I guess it was some sort of relationship marketing device. Anyway, this, along with a women's version, and later more cruiser 5 speed models were produced up through the mid 70's. The reason I've been searching for this bike is that the women's version is quite common, but the men's 10 speed has become exceedingly hard to find. If it's anything like the Schwinn Stingrays from yesteryear, it's because boys/men tend to beat the shit out of their bikes, whereas girls/women tend to take care of them more. My interests in this bike are A. old 10 speeds from this vintage are just rad pieces of art in and of themselves and B. The John Deere 10 Speed is a bit of an oddity more than it is/was a high performance bike. So I figure if I'm going to try my hand at bike restoration, why not start with an oddball? Anyway, I toddled out to Oswego with Marley 'n Matthew in tow to pick the thing up. The guy was nice enough...said he'd gotten it in an estate sale and would have thrown it out with the trash if his wife had her way. He didn't know much about the history (or didn't say) but it was pretty obvious the thing must have been left to rot in a barn or something for the past 15-20 years. The rear derallier is missing. No matter. I figure in for a penny in for a pound right? My initial thoughts: Well there's a nice helping of surface rust that looks like it'll come off with a fair amount of WD-40, Steel Wool and rust sealant. I set about to tinkering at the chrome on the lower fork and endcaps and they shined up pretty easy. That part should suffice. The decals are in AMAZING shape considering the condition of the bike. Before picking up the bike, my thoughts were that I needed to track down somebody who could either re-produce those or a parts place that (for some bizarre reason) still sells them. Now I'm starting to wonder how feasible it'd be to re-spray the frame without touching the decals. I'm probably out of luck on the actual John Deere Lettering, but the trim on the fork and the sizing/manufacturer decal on the vertical post are immaculate. The actual headplate with the 70's John Deere logo (where the deere has the big antlers and is facing downward instead of up) is in tact and looking awesome. The bike also has the reflectors intact. Nice. On the downside, I have no fucking clue what to do about this derailler situation (I can't even spell the word for christs sake). Marley's landlord has this Free Spirit from roughly the same vintage which has a usable one on it. He said we could help ourselves to that, plus he's got 3 other bikes (of which I know nothing about) he says I can have. So hopefully there's a cadaver somewhere that can give itself to the cause. I'm planning on fixing up the Free Spirit in the garage so Marley has something to bang around town in and leave at the train station if needs be, so if I can keep that one hanging on the wall together that'd be great (plus it's done up in that pukey-70's yellow/phlegm color scheme and who'd wanna see something that fantastic go to waste?). That rear brassy lookin chain guard on the rear tire? Yeah that's not brass. After some steel-woolin' it revealed itself to be of chrome origin. I can see some serious re-chroming will need to occur on that piece. I'm going to replace the seatpost outright as that's completely and utterly pointless to try to re-chrome/polish. Other than that, it's got a few spokes out, so I think I'll just have all but the most egregiously rusted ones replaced. It'll get a whole re-cabling for the drive-train and the brakes. the chain will get replaced, and it'll need new brake pads (and a new brake caliper on the rear left side). I'm a little nervous about tracking down parts from this vintage as the manufacturer of this bike clearly didn't share parts with Schwinn or Free Spirit (the Sears brand). I'll decide how much of a purist I want to be about it when I get into replacing those parts. As it turns out, my buddy James (who is not-unlike Morgan Freeman in Shawshank Redemption...he can get you ANYTHING) knows a guy who is starting a vintage bike restoration shop in Wicker Park and will paint a bike frame for 70 bucks. He also does re-chroming. With any luck, he's also going to have a line on where the brake caliper and rear derailler can be obtained. My next step is to take care of as much surface rust as possible. A lot of it as pretty offensive and will need to be taken down to the metal and re-chromed (especially the crank and rear chainguard thingy). I have it in parts in Marley's garage at the moment. As soon as I get word back from the Wicker Park guy, I'll start plotting out what parts i can afford to start fixing immediately.

Fucktard of the Week

2010-03-18T20:36:10Z

(tumbleweeds) Yeah it's been awhile. I've had enough people tell me I shouldn't abandon this thing (not that I was going to), but the muse seems to have struck me again. I've been busy though and I do have my other blog. Most of the time, I've been posting the incredibly stupid shit i find on the tubes on Facebook...but the longform is not without its charms. Anyway, meet Mark Driscoll. The rootin'est tootin'est hipster god fearing pastor ever to walk the mean streets of Seattle. Turns out he's been around for awhile, but finally came across my radar. As much as you'd think otherwise, Mark doesn't actually work for the Hurt Locker producers, but is in actual fact convinced that Satan makes movies like Avatar so you don't worship god, but rather the whole hippie dippie nature trip Avatar is all about. After this video, I did some researching on Mark and found out he's some sort of calvinist hipster pastor who says dirty words and attracts a shitload of would-be stoners and goth kids to his church which happens to be a former nightclub. He's made a lot of fans over at Seattle Weekly...which has spawned a lot of amusing editorials. I've long since had a theory that mega church pastors end up saying controversial things because they thrive on the attention. This guy is no different...but ya gotta give him credit, his whole "MY JEEBUS AIN'T NO FAGGOT!!" schtick is nothing if not original. Point of Fact: when you preach about how there's a devil that is constantly trying to get you to worship false idols and follow false icons all while wearing a Mickey Mouse T-Shirt , you've reached some sort of pompous-ass event horizon. Can't really go anywhere after that.

Fucktard of the Week

2009-10-16T22:11:58Z

He sings like he means it. Coming soon to sports bar karaoke near you

Back from the dead

2009-09-17T20:22:12Z

Hellooooooooo!!!!!! It's been awhile I realize...since the advent of Facebook and Twitter, my desire to express a string of thoughts in anything more than 150 characters has been at an all time low. Unfortunatley that means for some time, this particular website has been a haven for all the incredibly stupid shit I encounter on the web. I'm not even going to bother trying to recap what's all happened since I last posted here...cos well, a lot of shit happened. Leaving it at that is probably doing it more justice than explaining everything in detail. That said, one thing that has happened over the past couple months is that I've had an entire about-face change in how I view the political landscape in America. I've never been a rank and file Democrat or Republican, but always end up voting for one or the other based on which one I think will do less damage to the country. I voted for Obama in the last election. I think it is too early to tell whether or not he's doing a "good job" as he's got quite the mess to sort out right now. That said, I can say with near certainty I won't be voting for him in 2012. I won't be voting for the Republican candidate either. I will never vote for either of those parties ever again. From now on, I will cast a vote for a 3rd party candidate. I hadn't done this in prior elections because that's perceived as a throwaway vote. I must admit, I found it a little arrogant and presumptuous that Democrats got mad at Ralph Nader when he ran because he would "steal votes from Obama". Well who's to say a Green party voter might have voted for John McCain? The problem is I'm fiscally conservative and socially liberal. The fact of the matter is that neither the Democrats or Republicans represent my views. There ARE some third parties that do represent me, but unfortunately, the two party system we currently have completley shuts them out of the game. As it stands, it's basically impossible for a 3rd party to run a candidate for president for two reasons. First, campaign funding has gotten so out of hand that unless you're Ross Perot, you simply can't compete with them. And since both parties are so prone to grooming career politicians, it's impossible for people in the private sector to even begin to compete with them. Take Barack Obama for example. This is a man who was elected by the state of Illinois to represent their interests in the senate. He spent the last year and a half prior to winning the presidency campaigning for a new job! All the while he collected a paycheck from the tax payers of Illinois. Can you imagine a private sector scenario where you could tell your boss you aren't going to come in to work for a year while you try to get a new job, but you expect your boss to pay you anyway? It wasn't always like this. When our country was founded, it was basically the norm to go to Washington and represent your country, and then go back to the private sector when the congress wasn't in session. There have been numerous parties to come and go in America (The Know Nothings, the Whigs, Bull Moose, etc...even the Republicans were a 3rd party when Abraham Lincoln won the presidency). The second reason is because the two parties have warchests SO large that they shut out everyone who would oppose them. The special interest groups that fund them know they have to play ball with Republicans or Democrats if they want their interests represented because in the end, those are the only two parties that will actually get elected. So you have all the big money from unions, lawyers, religious groups etc all funneling to Republicans or Democrats. This is a problem for a number of reasons. First off, since each state has differing rules on what it takes to get on the ballot, unless you have representation in each state, it becomes essentially impossible to get a 3rd party on the ballot in each state. If you poll below 15% nationally (I believe?), you can't make it to the debates. This is higher than most states require which seems dumb since there's so many more ideas/views that come from the national level as opposed to a single state. The biggest problem I see is campaign funding. Look at how much money Barack Obama raised (I don't mean to pick on him because he's a democrat, but he just so happens to be the President right now). If you really think you raise over 200 million dollars for a presidential campaign with no strings attached you are woefully naive. That money has strings attached to it. Lots of strings. It is expected Obama will enact legislation in favor of his constituency and veto things that aren't in their best interests. Bush was the same way. So was Clinton and the Bush before that. Every elected official who happens to be a Republican or Democrat operates in this way. You don't rise to the top of those parties without acting that way. The special interest groups that account for the bulk of the donations (and no, he didn't raise the lions share of that from nickels and dimes from his website...really now) didn't contribute that money because it gives them a warm and fuzzy feeling. Ever wonder why mal practice and tort reform aren't mentioned in the "sweeping health care reform"? When trial lawyers constitute a large portion of funding that put you in office, you don't bite the hand that feeds. This is bad for America because malpractice lawsuits are major reason healthcare is so expensive (Doctors have to insure their businesses). Ask any Canadian how sue-happy they think the United States is. All of this leads me to my point. We live in a two party dictatorship. We have one more choice than the people in the Soviet Union did. For 28 years, there either a Bush or a Clinton in/around the White House. Both of these parties are entirely funded/propped up by special interests groups representing religion and corporations in America. The following is Benito Mussolini's definition of Fascism (a subject he should know from whence he speaks): "Fascism should more appropriately be called Corporatism because it is a merger of state and corporate power." Well when these candidates are essentially bought by corporations that fund lobbyists and special interest groups that get them into office, isn't that essentially what we have in America? I don't think any one individual is at fault here. I think Barack Obama is a very intelligent invidiual, however he's still part of the big machine. Who could possibly think that Democrats and Republicans don't put their own respective party's welfare in front of the nation? The last year has been nothing but a power struggle played out in rhetoric. Take the bailout funding for example. When Bush went and asked for a bailout, all the democrats voted against it and said it would ruin the economy. When Obama essentially asked for the same thing a few months later, all the republicans voted against it because they thought Obama's plan would ruin the economy. It's all about keeping the other guy down. The only solution I see here is more parties. We need serious campaign reform. Sitting politicians shouldn't be campaigning for a new job while they are holding an existing office. Religious organizations should forfeit their tax exempt status the minute they contribute money to a political campaign. You participate in the process...you pay your share just like everyone else. So as a result, I've decided my vote is best cast for the other guy. It's my way of saying I want to participate in the election process, but I am casting a vote of no-confidence in the two party system. Do I think it'll fix/change anything? Probably not..but maybe someday enough people will come around and stop voting for these two parties so we can be by the people and for the people again.

Fucktard of the Week

2009-08-03T14:51:24Z

BUSINESSES, NEED TO LIKE, LOWER THEIR RENT AND STUFF Coming soon to a Rage Against the Machine or Coldplay concert near you

RIP Michael Jackson

2009-07-14T22:38:31Z

This is a fitting tribute (go to 1:45) Let be a lesson to all Delorean Repos out there

At least have some style when you represent Ice T Playa!

2009-06-30T23:33:32Z

So Ice T is mad at me for taking his name on Twitter and saying "whack and corny" things on it. http://www.twitter.com/Ice_T is the site he's talking about To be fair, I've repeatedly tried to hand that account over to them (I created it just to prove how stupid it is for people to think they are following celebs on there). They don't return calls. All I ask is a guest spot as a crack head on SVU. I don't understand?

Fucktard of the week (month? it's been awhile)

2009-06-16T05:57:04Z

It seems like facebook has been my MO for status updates. I will keep this updated soon. In the meantime, another "Kick Me in the Balls" club charter member: To all gay community college students in the A/V club...just because you CAN do something, doesn't mean you should.

Nobody has needed a kick in the nuts

2009-05-25T21:56:20Z

as much as this dude The irony that those kids are walking about with belts that say "tools" is not lost on me.

Unemployment: PARTY TIME!!!

2009-05-13T19:54:12Z

For about three weeks now, I've been meaning to make a long overdue status update on what the hell is going on (and it is a lot believe me...hence why I haven't posted lately). Before that, there's something that must be said. I have a lot of friends on Facebook now, and I think for the first time in my life, I have a feel of how the economy is affecting people. I have friends on Facebook who are unemployed because they were laid off, let go, fired, etc etc etc. The net result is that they are collecting unemployment while contemplating their next big move (or lack thereof) in life. Since Facebook by its very nature has user generated content from users who don't really have anything better to do, a lot of these unemployed people now occupy about 80% of my Facebook page with their various goings on. One would think that with the rising unemployment levels, suffocating job competition, increasing uncertainty about the housing market and other issues...these people would be pre-occupied with obtaining gainful employment. I can only imagine that if i were in their shoes (and I have been at various points in my life), that I would be mortified. I would cut any frivilous spending to zilch, I would take the opportunity to better myself in some way (if that were to happen today, it'd be exercise) and I sure as FUCK wouldn't assume "everything will work out". I THOUGHT I operated not unlike the rest of the popuation. However, according to Facebook, my attitudes on how to handle the situation when unemployed is completely at odds with how people are getting on. According to Facebook, the following are activities undertaken by my unemployed friends/acquaintences -Get tattoos -Go to Happy Hour -Go to Cubs games (don't these cost money?) -Go to Social hours at the museum -Go to Happy Hour -Take in a "weekend of shenanigans in Wrigleyville!" -Go to a movies at the IMAX -Buy a car (???!!!!) -Go to Happy Hour -Go to NiNE INCH NAILS!! (OMG WOOT!!) -Go out to eat with friends -Go shoe shopping -Enjoy this rainy day watching movies and being lazy -Take every single quiz/survey under the sun on Facebook -Go to the Blackhawks playoffs game -Go to Happy hour -Go to yet more Cubs games I am thankful that my industry is fairly stable and somehwat immune to the economic problems facing our country. But I'm less than thrilled that in the back of my head, I know in some way, I'm somehow paying for these people to have more leisure time and do these things. Granted some of the people doing these activities have them subsidized by would-be male suitors who are only around because they haven't figured out that's all they are there for. Seriously, I'm all for people receiving unemployment benefits. And to be fair, there are also people I know with Facebook profiles who've hit the skids and are genuinely doing things to improve their situation. Hey, you paid into it, it's there for when you need it. But blowing every coin of it partying away and then flaunting it on Facebook (and then turning around and asking to "help you find a job" in some cases) is industrial strength stupid. SRSLY people. SRSLY DISCLAIMER: to anybody who is going to read this and be tempted to explain to me in detail how "I don't understand" and "how I want to keep my spirits" up...please save those pathetic excuses for somebody who gives a shit. I call 'em like I see 'em and if you are coming around these parts actin' a fool, don't expect to get flowers blown up your ass about it.

At the Red House!!!!!!!

2009-04-29T18:07:08Z

Their furniture is perfect for a black person, or a white person!

The worst video ever

2009-04-21T18:57:18Z

Man things are WEIRD around here. Harry Carey apparently was a shitty hurdy gurdy player towards the end of his life.

Wow

2009-04-17T19:53:10Z

I have no comment....just...um...wow