Thought Sausage

Am sitting in the Anchorage Airport waiting for a plane that may or may not be coming before 10pm. Apparently weather has fucked Delta's schedule up all kinds of fierce and I'm now on United. This isn't a bad thing since United's service is pretty decent, they have good movies and the seats are alright. They also let me check one bag for free and only charged $100 for the bike (as opposed to Delta's bullshit $150). Plus this is a direct flight so I get into Chicago tomorrow at 7am (theoretically at least). I'm probably not going to stroll into work until 10 or so (if then even). It all depends on how much sleep I get between now and then (I'm fucking exhausted at the moment).

The race went pretty good I suppose. I got 5th in the 100 mile solo (and first in my age group, which basically means I beat some other dude who has yet to turn 30). I would have actually placed higher except I had a slow leak in the back tire I had to stop and pump twice. The first time I got off the bike (around mile 60) I had 6 bikes pass me. I made up all but two of them.

The course itself was a hilly motherfucker. TONS of climbs. This was by far the most challenging century I've done (although to be fair, I was riding a lot harder than I normally do). The fact I was able to come in around 5:10 is pretty good though...especially since this was a solo race (aka no drafting) and the hills were so brutal. Pics are imminent. Unfortunately we didn't see any bears or moose. However, I was on about mile 70 or so and looked to my right and a fucking fox was running alongside me. Not like it was pacing with me, it was clearly interested in something going on to the right of us. But it was pretty cool seeing that species up close. I'd say it was probably about the size of a lab/golden retriever. Had a massive red bushy tail just like the firefox fox. He was only alongside me for a good 20 seconds or so and then darted off.

Roly and I then bummed around downtown Anchorage a bit. Not a bad place and booze is fairly cheap here (we found a place that was selling vodka/redbulls for 4 bucks). Lots of locals were out and we ended up hanging with a group of chicks that live up here. I'm given to understand that the locals are under the impression the only reason people under the age of 70 come to Alaska is to fish. So when we told them we were here for a bike race, we got some curious looks.

Spent today wandering through all the shops on 4th street that are more or less the toursity enterprises that specialize in selling knick knacks and random shit that has Alaska emblazoned on it in some creative fashion. I got some stickers for my bikes and Roly got a shirt.

So anyway, due to this whole flight change situation, Roly is now on a plane pointed towards Detroit so I'm here by myself.

So that's that basically. Alaska is in the can. I can now say I've been to all 50 states which is pretty good for a guy who hasn't turned 30 yet.

I finally decided to join the rat race and get a Flickr account. So whack this link to see the pics Roly took (I'll upload mine to flickr too once I get a chance).

Am back on my own couch in my own living room watching the E True Hollywood Story on Britney Spears (yes, this is all that's on as the Detroit/Sox game is dull). But that's not the point. We just got back from RAGBRAI 08 yesterday. I don't really have the gumption to coin a full recap, but I imagine that'll be forthcoming.

So here's the Cliff's Notes version

-Our bus died. The new bus. The 3rd bus. The engine apparently threw a rod and that particular engine is not too easy to come by. Anybody who happens to have a spare 1987 Detroit Diesel they just can't get rid of, feel free to email me because I'll take it right the fuck off your hands. In the meantime, the next 12 months will likely involve coming up with a solution to this matter that doesn't cost 25 grand (nothing is cheap on buses).

-I lost my credit cards. So I called and cancelled them. Then I found said credit cards. Now I have 5-7 business days where I can't use plastic. This is becoming fantastically problematic for me.

-TUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUG FESSSSSSSSSST

-In my haste to leave I grabbed Paddy's helmet out of my car and forgot to close the trunk all the way. As a result, the battery died completely. AT&T Roadside Assistance is en route to jump (hence why I'm sitting here watching these C-List celebrities ponder where "Britney went wrong").

-The Tallywackers, Team Pucker, Subtle Savages and Party Patrol are some of the coolest motherfuckers like, ever.

-You bet your ass I'm ordering one of these as soon as I have plastic to do so.

- Took in the Dark Knight in Ames on Wednesday (or was it Tuesday?) night. Holy fucking christ but that movie is amazing. I can't wait to see again (which I will...repeatedly, and on the IMAX).

So next up is Steelhead on Saturday and I think I'm fairly leveled out from the ride. I definitely need to get some runs in and hopefully get myself sorted out and ready. I've decided to camp while in Michigan for it. I've been living in a 1 man tent the last 7 days and have come to decide this is pretty good living for races. So there ya go.

Jesus it's already August?

Behold the orange beast has grown!

You'll note there is now a front rack which is housing my tent and a new sleeping bag (it's a 10 degree, and oughta do the trick).

Sorry about this one being blurry.

Other additions that have occured since I last posted pics of this bike include the ipod/stereo in the rear water bottle holder. That bad boy comes with a nifty little remote which is mounted on the aero bars next to the computer. That in and of itself is one of the coolest additions here, cos that thing is LOUD. Also, you'll note a chair mounts behind the seatpost, so I'm like locked and loaded. You probably can't see them, but I also had Armadillos put on so as to put up with the added weight and the inherent shit that is on the road.

All and all, this bike is weighing in around 70 pounds now. It definitely slows me down, but I have the weight balanced on it pretty evenly so going up hills and such isn't really any big thing. Hell its probably good training. the good news with teh extra gear is that the warmer sleeping bag allows me to ride later into the season, so I'll like, get my money's worth out of all this shit.

Am laying in bed at the Econolodge in Waterloo about to get up for the race tomorrow. Sorry to everyone I didn't see. This turned out to be an in/out trip without a whole lot of fanfare. As you can imagine, partying and doing the things required by me to hang and catch up are completely un-conducive to having a good race.

I DID manage to procure a UNI cycling Jersey at Scheels today....BONUS. I've been meaning to get one forever and they had them on clearance.

Speaking of UNI, I spent today doing two things. Checking out the 90th Anniversary stuff in downtown Waterloo for John Deere. Some old tractors, some new ones, and lots of REALLY old motors from the Waterloo Boy days (WB was a motor company John Deere bought about 90 years ago and began making tractors that powered themselves). The other thing was that my brother and I wandered through the UNI Campus. That brought back memories. It's been at least 7 years since I've strolled through there, and this is the first time I've really felt nostalgic about a place. Like I remembered exactly what I was feeling like about college and so forth. Very good times basically. Knowing what I know now about the way the world turns, I would do a lot of things different if I could. I would have gotten more involved with activities at the school, played more intermural sports, and just all around taken more advantages of the social aspects of being in college (for those who don't know, I spent most of college playing shows and being away from college in a van somewhere). But ultimately, everything worked out for the best I suppose.

Anyhow, the fucking Larry the Cable Guy movie is on the TV right now, so naturally I have to change it to something else.

I can see having a Spokeasy Twitter page is going to bring some of the crazies outta the woodwork. I had to post this, and even though non-riders may not fully appreciate the fuckard-nature here, riders will find this utterly awe-inspiring.

Ladies and gents, meet John the Freemason cyclist from western bumfuck Iowa. John rode Ragbrai 5 times. John has very strong opinions of Ragbrai and the stresses it seems to put on his harmony joyridin', recumbant-havin' lifestyle. All of which he detailed in a massive Tome on his 'bicycling blog'. You see John wants you to be informed of how stressful Ragbrai can be for experienced cyclists. Among the highlights that seem to have put a pain on John's pussy over the years:

-Got a bug in his eye for a stretch...oh noz!!

-Had to borrow money in 1998 because he hadn't yet obtained an ATM card (!!!!???!!!!)

-Slept at the town center one night and the fireworks show kept him from "getting the requisite 7 hours of sleep needed in order to cycle the next day"

-2 days into the ride...the separation anxiety from his wife (who was 50 miles away) and the stress of 'hiding his emotions from other riders'

-A gut ache once

John, since you are going to inevitably read this when you troll your logs or Google yourself to see if any Christ punchers mentioned you or the freemasons or recumbants I won't bother commenting on your blog (not that I could possibly meet the stringent requirements for doing so anyway, as per your rules at the bottom). While I would never begrudge anybody for venturing to ride more...you should probably know that one major requirement for a multi-day ride like Ragbrai is that you can't be what the natives call "a pussy". Pussies are like porn. You can't define it but you know it when you see it. And you sir, well...you see where I'm going with this. Let me enlighten you to the real stresses that occur with real riders (also note our team has grown year over year):

-Carpal Tunnel

-Blown knee (twice)

-Broken Rim

-Stolen bike

-a Bus broken down on the middle of the highway with 20-40 people stranded (one year ours, one year another teams)

-lost/missing team members (for a whole three days...like more than you have ever been away from your wife)

-dudes getting killed in front of your bus

-tornados (Pro Tip: Tornados and sirens are louder than fireworks)

-brakes going out on a bus while careening down into Guttenberg

-severe dehydration resulting in emergency room trips

-2nd and 3rd degree sunburns

...well it like...goes on and on.

John I can't speak to whatever hippie dippie peaceful joyride trip you are on, but I can speak to the fact that if your stress threshold can't handle any of the above, you really should consider a nice elementary school ice cream social or amish getaway for your 2009 summer adventure before you make yet another idiotic representation of yourself and Ragbrai.