Thought Sausage

Fucktard of the Week

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 16:11:58 -0600

He sings like he means it. Coming soon to sports bar karaoke near you

Back from the dead

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 14:22:12 -0600

Hellooooooooo!!!!!! It's been awhile I realize...since the advent of Facebook and Twitter, my desire to express a string of thoughts in anything more than 150 characters has been at an all time low. Unfortunatley that means for some time, this particular website has been a haven for all the incredibly stupid shit I encounter on the web. I'm not even going to bother trying to recap what's all happened since I last posted here...cos well, a lot of shit happened. Leaving it at that is probably doing it more justice than explaining everything in detail. That said, one thing that has happened over the past couple months is that I've had an entire about-face change in how I view the political landscape in America. I've never been a rank and file Democrat or Republican, but always end up voting for one or the other based on which one I think will do less damage to the country. I voted for Obama in the last election. I think it is too early to tell whether or not he's doing a "good job" as he's got quite the mess to sort out right now. That said, I can say with near certainty I won't be voting for him in 2012. I won't be voting for the Republican candidate either. I will never vote for either of those parties ever again. From now on, I will cast a vote for a 3rd party candidate. I hadn't done this in prior elections because that's perceived as a throwaway vote. I must admit, I found it a little arrogant and presumptuous that Democrats got mad at Ralph Nader when he ran because he would "steal votes from Obama". Well who's to say a Green party voter might have voted for John McCain? The problem is I'm fiscally conservative and socially liberal. The fact of the matter is that neither the Democrats or Republicans represent my views. There ARE some third parties that do represent me, but unfortunately, the two party system we currently have completley shuts them out of the game. As it stands, it's basically impossible for a 3rd party to run a candidate for president for two reasons. First, campaign funding has gotten so out of hand that unless you're Ross Perot, you simply can't compete with them. And since both parties are so prone to grooming career politicians, it's impossible for people in the private sector to even begin to compete with them. Take Barack Obama for example. This is a man who was elected by the state of Illinois to represent their interests in the senate. He spent the last year and a half prior to winning the presidency campaigning for a new job! All the while he collected a paycheck from the tax payers of Illinois. Can you imagine a private sector scenario where you could tell your boss you aren't going to come in to work for a year while you try to get a new job, but you expect your boss to pay you anyway? It wasn't always like this. When our country was founded, it was basically the norm to go to Washington and represent your country, and then go back to the private sector when the congress wasn't in session. There have been numerous parties to come and go in America (The Know Nothings, the Whigs, Bull Moose, etc...even the Republicans were a 3rd party when Abraham Lincoln won the presidency). The second reason is because the two parties have warchests SO large that they shut out everyone who would oppose them. The special interest groups that fund them know they have to play ball with Republicans or Democrats if they want their interests represented because in the end, those are the only two parties that will actually get elected. So you have all the big money from unions, lawyers, religious groups etc all funneling to Republicans or Democrats. This is a problem for a number of reasons. First off, since each state has differing rules on what it takes to get on the ballot, unless you have representation in each state, it becomes essentially impossible to get a 3rd party on the ballot in each state. If you poll below 15% nationally (I believe?), you can't make it to the debates. This is higher than most states require which seems dumb since there's so many more ideas/views that come from the national level as opposed to a single state. The biggest problem I see is campaign funding. Look at how much money Barack Obama raised (I don't mean to pick on him because he's a democrat, but he just so happens to be the President right now). If you really think you raise over 200 million dollars for a presidential campaign with no strings attached you are woefully naive. That money has strings attached to it. Lots of strings. It is expected Obama will enact legislation in favor of his constituency and veto things that aren't in their best interests. Bush was the same way. So was Clinton and the Bush before that. Every elected official who happens to be a Republican or Democrat operates in this way. You don't rise to the top of those parties without acting that way. The special interest groups that account for the bulk of the donations (and no, he didn't raise the lions share of that from nickels and dimes from his website...really now) didn't contribute that money because it gives them a warm and fuzzy feeling. Ever wonder why mal practice and tort reform aren't mentioned in the "sweeping health care reform"? When trial lawyers constitute a large portion of funding that put you in office, you don't bite the hand that feeds. This is bad for America because malpractice lawsuits are major reason healthcare is so expensive (Doctors have to insure their businesses). Ask any Canadian how sue-happy they think the United States is. All of this leads me to my point. We live in a two party dictatorship. We have one more choice than the people in the Soviet Union did. For 28 years, there either a Bush or a Clinton in/around the White House. Both of these parties are entirely funded/propped up by special interests groups representing religion and corporations in America. The following is Benito Mussolini's definition of Fascism (a subject he should know from whence he speaks): "Fascism should more appropriately be called Corporatism because it is a merger of state and corporate power." Well when these candidates are essentially bought by corporations that fund lobbyists and special interest groups that get them into office, isn't that essentially what we have in America? I don't think any one individual is at fault here. I think Barack Obama is a very intelligent invidiual, however he's still part of the big machine. Who could possibly think that Democrats and Republicans don't put their own respective party's welfare in front of the nation? The last year has been nothing but a power struggle played out in rhetoric. Take the bailout funding for example. When Bush went and asked for a bailout, all the democrats voted against it and said it would ruin the economy. When Obama essentially asked for the same thing a few months later, all the republicans voted against it because they thought Obama's plan would ruin the economy. It's all about keeping the other guy down. The only solution I see here is more parties. We need serious campaign reform. Sitting politicians shouldn't be campaigning for a new job while they are holding an existing office. Religious organizations should forfeit their tax exempt status the minute they contribute money to a political campaign. You participate in the process...you pay your share just like everyone else. So as a result, I've decided my vote is best cast for the other guy. It's my way of saying I want to participate in the election process, but I am casting a vote of no-confidence in the two party system. Do I think it'll fix/change anything? Probably not..but maybe someday enough people will come around and stop voting for these two parties so we can be by the people and for the people again.

Fucktard of the Week

Mon, 03 Aug 2009 08:51:24 -0600

BUSINESSES, NEED TO LIKE, LOWER THEIR RENT AND STUFF Coming soon to a Rage Against the Machine or Coldplay concert near you

RIP Michael Jackson

Tue, 14 Jul 2009 16:38:31 -0600

This is a fitting tribute (go to 1:45) Let be a lesson to all Delorean Repos out there

At least have some style when you represent Ice T Playa!

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 17:33:32 -0600

So Ice T is mad at me for taking his name on Twitter and saying "whack and corny" things on it. http://www.twitter.com/Ice_T is the site he's talking about To be fair, I've repeatedly tried to hand that account over to them (I created it just to prove how stupid it is for people to think they are following celebs on there). They don't return calls. All I ask is a guest spot as a crack head on SVU. I don't understand?

Fucktard of the week (month? it's been awhile)

Mon, 15 Jun 2009 23:57:04 -0600

It seems like facebook has been my MO for status updates. I will keep this updated soon. In the meantime, another "Kick Me in the Balls" club charter member: To all gay community college students in the A/V club...just because you CAN do something, doesn't mean you should.

Nobody has needed a kick in the nuts

Mon, 25 May 2009 15:56:20 -0600

as much as this dude The irony that those kids are walking about with belts that say "tools" is not lost on me.

Unemployment: PARTY TIME!!!

Wed, 13 May 2009 13:54:12 -0600

For about three weeks now, I've been meaning to make a long overdue status update on what the hell is going on (and it is a lot believe me...hence why I haven't posted lately). Before that, there's something that must be said. I have a lot of friends on Facebook now, and I think for the first time in my life, I have a feel of how the economy is affecting people. I have friends on Facebook who are unemployed because they were laid off, let go, fired, etc etc etc. The net result is that they are collecting unemployment while contemplating their next big move (or lack thereof) in life. Since Facebook by its very nature has user generated content from users who don't really have anything better to do, a lot of these unemployed people now occupy about 80% of my Facebook page with their various goings on. One would think that with the rising unemployment levels, suffocating job competition, increasing uncertainty about the housing market and other issues...these people would be pre-occupied with obtaining gainful employment. I can only imagine that if i were in their shoes (and I have been at various points in my life), that I would be mortified. I would cut any frivilous spending to zilch, I would take the opportunity to better myself in some way (if that were to happen today, it'd be exercise) and I sure as FUCK wouldn't assume "everything will work out". I THOUGHT I operated not unlike the rest of the popuation. However, according to Facebook, my attitudes on how to handle the situation when unemployed is completely at odds with how people are getting on. According to Facebook, the following are activities undertaken by my unemployed friends/acquaintences -Get tattoos -Go to Happy Hour -Go to Cubs games (don't these cost money?) -Go to Social hours at the museum -Go to Happy Hour -Take in a "weekend of shenanigans in Wrigleyville!" -Go to a movies at the IMAX -Buy a car (???!!!!) -Go to Happy Hour -Go to NiNE INCH NAILS!! (OMG WOOT!!) -Go out to eat with friends -Go shoe shopping -Enjoy this rainy day watching movies and being lazy -Take every single quiz/survey under the sun on Facebook -Go to the Blackhawks playoffs game -Go to Happy hour -Go to yet more Cubs games I am thankful that my industry is fairly stable and somehwat immune to the economic problems facing our country. But I'm less than thrilled that in the back of my head, I know in some way, I'm somehow paying for these people to have more leisure time and do these things. Granted some of the people doing these activities have them subsidized by would-be male suitors who are only around because they haven't figured out that's all they are there for. Seriously, I'm all for people receiving unemployment benefits. And to be fair, there are also people I know with Facebook profiles who've hit the skids and are genuinely doing things to improve their situation. Hey, you paid into it, it's there for when you need it. But blowing every coin of it partying away and then flaunting it on Facebook (and then turning around and asking to "help you find a job" in some cases) is industrial strength stupid. SRSLY people. SRSLY DISCLAIMER: to anybody who is going to read this and be tempted to explain to me in detail how "I don't understand" and "how I want to keep my spirits" up...please save those pathetic excuses for somebody who gives a shit. I call 'em like I see 'em and if you are coming around these parts actin' a fool, don't expect to get flowers blown up your ass about it.

At the Red House!!!!!!!

Wed, 29 Apr 2009 12:07:08 -0600

Their furniture is perfect for a black person, or a white person!

The worst video ever

Tue, 21 Apr 2009 12:57:18 -0600

Man things are WEIRD around here. Harry Carey apparently was a shitty hurdy gurdy player towards the end of his life.

Wow

Fri, 17 Apr 2009 13:53:10 -0600

I have no comment....just...um...wow

Fucktard of the Week (Cycling Expert Tips)

Wed, 15 Apr 2009 12:16:25 -0600

I can see having a Spokeasy Twitter page is going to bring some of the crazies outta the woodwork. I had to post this, and even though non-riders may not fully appreciate the fuckard-nature here, riders will find this utterly awe-inspiring. Ladies and gents, meet John the Freemason cyclist from western bumfuck Iowa. John rode Ragbrai 5 times. John has very strong opinions of Ragbrai and the stresses it seems to put on his harmony joyridin', recumbant-havin' lifestyle. All of which he detailed in a massive Tome on his 'bicycling blog'. You see John wants you to be informed of how stressful Ragbrai can be for experienced cyclists. Among the highlights that seem to have put a pain on John's pussy over the years: -Got a bug in his eye for a stretch...oh noz!! -Had to borrow money in 1998 because he hadn't yet obtained an ATM card (!!!!???!!!!) -Slept at the town center one night and the fireworks show kept him from "getting the requisite 7 hours of sleep needed in order to cycle the next day" -2 days into the ride...the separation anxiety from his wife (who was 50 miles away) and the stress of 'hiding his emotions from other riders' -A gut ache once John, since you are going to inevitably read this when you troll your logs or Google yourself to see if any Christ punchers mentioned you or the freemasons or recumbants I won't bother commenting on your blog (not that I could possibly meet the stringent requirements for doing so anyway, as per your rules at the bottom). While I would never begrudge anybody for venturing to ride more...you should probably know that one major requirement for a multi-day ride like Ragbrai is that you can't be what the natives call "a pussy". Pussies are like porn. You can't define it but you know it when you see it. And you sir, well...you see where I'm going with this. Let me enlighten you to the real stresses that occur with real riders (also note our team has grown year over year): -Carpal Tunnel -Blown knee (twice) -Broken Rim -Stolen bike -a Bus broken down on the middle of the highway with 20-40 people stranded (one year ours, one year another teams) -lost/missing team members (for a whole three days...like more than you have ever been away from your wife) -dudes getting killed in front of your bus -tornados (Pro Tip: Tornados and sirens are louder than fireworks) -brakes going out on a bus while careening down into Guttenberg -severe dehydration resulting in emergency room trips -2nd and 3rd degree sunburns ...well it like...goes on and on. John I can't speak to whatever hippie dippie peaceful joyride trip you are on, but I can speak to the fact that if your stress threshold can't handle any of the above, you really should consider a nice elementary school ice cream social or amish getaway for your 2009 summer adventure before you make yet another idiotic representation of yourself and Ragbrai.

Red Yellow Black and White

Tue, 14 Apr 2009 11:17:16 -0600

Jesus loves all racial stereotypes!

Best headline ever?

Sun, 12 Apr 2009 22:04:40 -0600

No don't read the story...just admit that is the best headline ever

Hey now here's a good idea

Wed, 25 Mar 2009 12:24:11 -0600

I will be most interested in seeing how this shapes up. While I don't profess to actually have all that much interest in the roots of electronic music (in its various forms), I do think it's high time Chris Randall actually wrote a book. I'm sure the color commentary he'll put alongside will make this a good read regardless of the content.