Thought Sausage

M.A.B. is the Fucktard King

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 21:47:51 -0600

I think we can all agree that all other fucktards are chumps in the wake of Michael Angelo Batio. This guy has the market cornered. It is literally impossible to Google or Youtube this guy and not come back with him doing something preposterously idiotic. That said, I think every meeting where things are getting boring - I will stand up and announce "I'm gonna just shut up, and play TWO guitars!" and start playing air guitar and making the faces he makes

What a week

Fri, 07 Nov 2008 13:31:41 -0600

Craziness around here. Sorry I haven't updated lately. As y'all know, we have ourselves a president elect. I'm cool with him. It became pretty apparent to me late in the election that he was really in a better position to lead the country. I've said it before and I'll say it again- the success of Obama's presidency won't be based on how smart he is, or what he knows about war, economy etc, but rather his ability to bring those in the know together and get them to work towards a common good. Some of the names being bandied about for cabinet members support my feeling there. We'll see how that economic conference pans out today. One thing I can say for sure is that it's looking more and more like Obama will be bailing out GM, whether he likes it or not. So we took in the festivities in Grant Park on Tuesday night. I'll say this, watching Obama speak on TV, and seeing it in person are two entirely different experiences. Boy howdy that dude's got the 'it' factor (whatever that is). There's little doubt we're in for some top dollar state-of-the-union addresses in the coming years. These pics are from my phone, but you get the idea of how vast it was So that was that. This weekend we had Travis's Halloween party, which was most excellent. They had an egyptian motif which I summarily fucked up on by going as a 'snow queen' (whatever the hell...it was the last costume they had at target). Friday I saw Jason Isbell at Beat Kitchen. Awesome show. Last time i saw Isbell was when he was with the Drive By Truckers at a place called The Mill in Iowa City amidst a crazy blizzard. We talked after the show and he remembered the gig, which was cool. This weekend I'm going to the Quad Cities to see Metallica with my little brother. It's been over 10 years since I've seen 'em (wow really?). I'm due I guess. Plus the Death Magnetic songs sound like they will translate live very well. Other than that, despite the cold, I'm taking my mountain bike and intend on hitting the trails therein (Sugar Bottom this time if they are nice and open the trails for the weekend...I haven't been there yet, btu everyone who has sings its praises anytime they get a chance).

New Patterson Hood song

Mon, 03 Nov 2008 23:24:04 -0600

Patterson Hood dropped a new song on the Drive By Truckers website called Uncle Phil and Aunt Phyllis In the Month After the Election and it's a classic Hood spoken word piece. Tis here. Download and enjoy (It also has a killer groove laid down by David Hood)

Election Day

Mon, 03 Nov 2008 10:17:32 -0600

It's tomorrow Well, vote early and vote often as they say around here. With all the people supporting Obama that I think are pretty sound of judgement (Warren Buffet, Colin Powell, The Economist, the Chicago Trib), I feel pretty good about pulling the switch for Obama. I'll admit though, I'd feel a lot better about it if it weren't for the smug liberal media and airhead celebrities telling me that I'm retarded, homophobic, racist or a combination of the three if I don't. NOTE TO LIBERAL ELITES AND HOLLYWOOD = I am of the guarded opinion that you know shit from fuck about Obama's agenda, the way our country works, and how his policies will impact you (and me). This includes you Moby, Leo DiCaprio, Bono, Vice President Oprah, Bill Maher et all. You have talents but it's a demonstrable fact that economics and foreign policy are not among them. I cringe everytime I have to hear/read about you doling out an egregiously ill-informed opinion. It doesn't make me like Obama more, it makes me like you less. Please, next time we have an election, keep your political opinions to yourself and let people who know what the fuck they are talking about have the airtime.

One of those weeks

Fri, 24 Oct 2008 16:51:54 -0600

Been awhile ain't it? Suffice to say, it's been a long eventful week. My 14 year old cousin Kevin passed away most unexpectedly on Saturday. He was autistic and was born with a heart condition, but was otherwise in good health. He even ran cross country (the above picture is myself + terry and him after running Crazy Legs in late April). By all accounts, my aunt/uncle were in Iowa for the Iowa game and went to wake Kevin up and more or less, he was unresponsive. So it sounds like he basically slipped away in his sleep, which is better than struggling I guess. So I've been in Madison tending to those affairs all week and am finally back in Chicago. It was cool to see as many people come to the visitation and funeral as there were. 1000+ for both events. I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like for a parent to lose a kid like that (and have long since stopped even trying to wrap my head around it). You'd see people going past the casket in the visitation and you could almost tell that in a small way, they were thinking about what would happen if that were their kid there. Needless to say, funerals for kids are about the hardest thing to watch go down. I spent more time organizing/getting things in order for this one than I ever have for a funeral, so by the time it all went down, I'd gotten past that initial barrier of the whole matter. My aunt and uncle seem to be getting on okay (as well as I suppose you could expect for something like this). I think traumatic is a gross understatement. There isn't much you can say to them, but I think they just appreciate people being around them more than anything you could possibly say. It's not like in a movie where some character gets to utter some profound line that encompasses the weight of the matter. Anyway...that was that. This weekend, I'm off to Milwaukee. I took a long weekend (vaca days to burn) so Shelly and I are going up there to tour breweries and more or less, just be not-in-Chicago for the weekend.

More Roly Wisdom

Thu, 16 Oct 2008 13:54:20 -0600

To be fair, he couldn't have had a better setup Dave McAnally [11:12 AM]: sounds like your living room in belfast Dave McAnally [11:12 AM]: http://failblog.org/2008/10/16/huge-fail/ fatsholo@aol.com [11:35 AM]: only when I am sitting in it

This visual should help

Fri, 10 Oct 2008 11:35:48 -0600

This represents what is happening with our company's stock this week That is all...

Nobody worry, I found the best mustard in the world

Thu, 09 Oct 2008 22:39:10 -0600

Behold, the greatest mustard ever. This is the Safeway brand Coarse Ground Dijon Mustard. Both Jesus and James Hetfield agree that you better get your ass to the grocery store and buy some ASAP. It goes amazing with chicken and Hebrew Nationals. I'm on the verge of just drinking this shit straight out of the bottle. Seriously. This is the mustard Jesus puts on his hot dogs.

The big one stop shop update

Wed, 08 Oct 2008 23:33:35 -0600

Wow it's been awhile since I've posted what's been going on. Been a lot and a little. Just got done doing an interval run out on the lake path tonight. I'm really trying to work at getting faster. the problem with working at getting faster is that it kicks your ass. I'm just beginning to ramp up for the marathon in January, but i want to do it in a way that I can actually finish under 4 hours. This summer was an eye opener to how shitty my run is. I'm looking at various training/coaching facilities in Chicago that cater to running. The Tri Club had a meeting last week where they introduced a bunch of them. Hopefully I'll have that hashed out by next week. On another (sort of) downer...I've decided to back out of buying that Hummer. As it turns out, we got this here recession/crisis/hiccup thang going on gee gaw! You see, originally, the arrangement was that I would simply hand over my mustang, and they would hand me over the truck and the payments I was making on the Mustang would now go to GMAC and that would be that. In essence, it wouldn't really change anything money-wise for me. However, since said arrangement came to pass, GMAC seems to have drastically altered how they go about loaning money. That is to say, "we may require just a little bit up front in cash in addition to the car". How much is 'a little'? Oh you know, 5 fucking grand or so! Why is my definition of "a little" and the Hummer Dealer/GMAC so radically different? After mulling it over, I decided yanking that money out of savings (aka condo downpayment kittie, for whenever people besides Warren Buffet can get a mortgage) would not be wise given these times of woe and want. As a result I figured it would be better to chalk that $500 I gave them to order the truck up as idiot tax and keep on keepin on. The fact of the matter is that the Mustang is a perfectly good/stable/reliable/cool car. Doesn't exactly suit my needs, but whatever. Chicks dig it! This weekend I'm going to Boston for my cousin's wedding. Good times...I havent' seen some of these folks in a few years and they are all good people. Good drinkers too...and Boston is a fun fucking down to party in. It'll be nice to go there and not have work going on. Other than that...I'm back into lifting again. I want to see how much lean muscle I can build up in the off season (with respect to running of course). Getting up early is a bitch, but what the fuck ever. Oh, and also...so Shelly and I are going to be going up to Milwaukee (and/or Madison?) for a couple days in a couple weeks. Unfortunately, this is occuring on a Saturday and Sunday. I have no idea what to do in those towns. Basically I'm up for anything (I haven't taken time away from work that hasnt' involved a race or cycling event in, like, forever, so just getting wasted and chilling seems great to me). Does anybody have any suggestions/ideas for things to do? And no fucking Paintball.

If I were Sarah Palin's kid

Thu, 02 Oct 2008 17:28:41 -0600

From http://politsk.blogspot.com/2008/09/sarah_13.html Dave, if you were born to Sarah Palin, your name would be: Slicer Mission Palin Who knows, Slicer Mission Palin you just might be president one day! From this day forth, Drew is Pie Gallon, thanks to Sarah

25 steps to being a douchebag at Subway

Thu, 02 Oct 2008 13:07:32 -0600

During lunchtime the Subway by my office gets super busy. It creates huge lines and allows for a study on how big of a douche bag people can be while ordering a sandwich (today was particularly busy because they are shooting a movie out on the street, so here comes all the union tools). The following is a list of instructions from start to finish on everything needed to be a complete and total douche bag jackass while ordering a sandwich. For the record..this entire step by step act was performed by a single individual in front of me just now. 1. Whatever you do, don't decide what you want until you get to the front of the line. 2. When the person (who won't speak an iota of English) asks you what you want, act as if you've never set foot in a subway. Extra points for using terminology not associated with Subway (large instead of footlong, burger instead of sandwich). Ask what specials they have, despite the fact they are in huge posters 4 feet in front of you. Also be sure to ask what types of bread are available even though the fucking loaves are right in front of you. Labor over this decision for at least five seconds. Be sure to change your mind and ask for a footlong after the bread-selecting technician (or whatever this position is called) has cut the loaf 3. Stand with your back arched and hands on hips to convey a smug and patronizing sense of self satisfaction. 4. When asked if you'd like it toasted, be sure to ask if "it comes with the sandwich". Bonus points if you ask one of the English challenged employees this because they will not understand the question and will be completely at a loss on how to respond. This is super important if there are more than 10 people in line behind you. 5. When asked what kind of cheese you want, be sure to ask 'what's available'. After you are told what's available, be sure to ask about a type of cheese they don't have. "Do you have cheddar?" Clearly, if they had cheddar, they'd be hording it and preventing all the "other customers" from eating it. Otherwise, pretend like you live in some strange territory where Subways offer cheddar on sandwiches. 6. Ask again what cheese types they have 7. Repeat step 5 at least twice mixing up flavors only once (come back to Cheddar on the third go-around) 8. Look at your watch as if you're in a hurry 9. Answer your cell phone 10. Whatever happens, from here on out, don't disrupt the conversation to get the order through. It is of critical importance that nobody understands exactly who you are talking to. 11. DO NOT under any circumstances, let the 'sandwich artist' put anything on your sandwich without uttering the phrase "Oh okay, let's see, what are all the toppings here" as if you are ordering an ice cream cone. Use your index finger to point at all of them. 12. Name the "toppings" as the person is putting them on. It's best to assume the individual who is taking orders has never worked a lunch-rush and is incapable of remembering more than one item at a time. Example: "Lettuce" (wait for them to put lettuce on), "Tomatoes" (wait for the tomatoes), (insert pause), "Banana peppers (wait for them to put the banana peppers on) (insert vocalized pause..Aka "ummmmmmm", then proceed to tell the person on the phone that you are ordering a sandwich) and so on... 13. When it comes to sauces and shit, be sure to say you want "a little bit of mayo" followed by extra oil and vinegar. This will let everyone behind you know that you don't actually know anything about how to cut fat off a sandwich, but have heard thin people say "little bit of mayo" so your portly ass wants to be in with that crowd. 14. Go back and ask for a vegetable that you previously glazed over 15. Now as for "just a little bit of ranch" 16. Hold your hand out as if to mime "stop" while you wrap up the call you are still on 17. When you get to the cashier, completely forget what kind of sandwich you ordered 18. Wait for the person who put it in the bag to inform the cashier what you had 19. Ask if "It is one of the 5 dollar "features"" 20. Bitch about how the double meat Philly cheese steak isn't on the 5 dollar menu 21. After the cashier rings up your sandwich, inform him that "Oh she's got mine" (because of course you'd make your little lady friend pay for it) 22. After this financial arrangement is agreed upon tack on "a large iced tea and two chocolate chip cookies" to your order even though the little self-service fountain station is 3 feet to your immediate left. 23. Look incredulously at the empty cup in front of you 24. Go fill up your iced tea 25. Walk out of the store before your lady friend even gets her change

Post season

Wed, 01 Oct 2008 23:44:38 -0600

I meant to write this earlier, but this week is once again flying by. The tri this weekend went pretty well. Ended up 2nd in the division. I was 5th overall in teh swim and top 10 in everything except the run adn ended up in teh 20's for the overall (so you can imagine how bad the run was). I desperately need to get faster on that run. At the tri club meeting tonight we had some coaching services come in and I think I'm going to reach out and get a coach in the ranks to help me speed up. I have the Disney World marathon next, so the 10k isn't that big of a deal between now and January, but still...it's annoying running 50 minute 10k's at this stage in the game. Spent the rest of Sunday driving back to Chicago, and then Shelly and I watched 80's movies (Princess Bride and Lost Boys with its buff sax player that made that whole movie awkward). Good times I tell ya. I'm taking this week off workout-wise, but next week I'm going back to the swimming/running/weight regiment.

Well here comes

Wed, 01 Oct 2008 23:39:16 -0600

We had a Tri Club meeting tonight and when I came home I saw that the bailout bill has indeed passed. I've been watching this very closely, but I certainly don't understand all of it. From what I gather, they basically took the bill that went to vote on Monday and threw a bunch of pork on it, got McCain and Obama to vote for it and that was that. I guess now we get to wait and see if this thing works or not. I'm HOPING my dad is right and that the government will make out really well like they did in 1929 post crash (after a similar deal was made). "We're all fucked, it helps to remember that" - George Carlin

Credit bad oh noz!!!

Wed, 01 Oct 2008 09:01:41 -0600

So I decided it was time to take more control of my financial/credit situaiton in light of all that's going on and start monitoring my credit. So I signed up for that freecreditreport.com site. I didn't really know what to expect, but holy fucking shit. I mean, just...wow. Not only did it say I had a credit score of 570 (??!!!) but that I was employed by Sears Roebuck in Waterloo and that my current bank was John Deere Community Credit Union (both of which are places in Iowa, yet it somehow had my current Chicago address). So after freaking out about that credit score, I looked at what was dragging it down so far. Basically, it looked like this was literally a credit report from 1999. NOTHING was remotely current. Is this the way they do business? So I signed up for the same thing in Equifax and found all to be in order. Credit score is good, my current employer is Resolution Media and I don't have the US Dept of Education as a current creditor. So yeah, um, fuck that freecreditreport.com shit. Even when you do buy a report it's grossly inaccurate.

Need a shower?

Tue, 30 Sep 2008 00:02:35 -0600

Anybody who stands in front of Barney Frank gets a shower. CAVEAT: I can't find anything on the t00bs of this cat in the past couple days. That said, I love Barney. But fucking hell...does he say it without spraying it?